Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 138

Steve can't sleep.

He's usually pretty good about going to bed early so he can wake up and go for a run before the rest of the team is up. And, to be fair, he did do the first part. He did go to bed early. He always does. But that's just left him tossing and turning for a few hours, and that kind of defeats the purpose of it.

As much as he hates to blame Loki for anything, especially right now with how fragile he seems to be, it really is entirely Loki's fault. He'd thought he would feel better once he finally got to talk to him. He somehow feels worse. He'd obviously known there was a decent chance that things would be weird between them. He'd expected it, honestly; it's been six weeks since they've talked, not for lack of trying. But to actually experience how different it was... He just wasn't ready.

Loki's treating him like a stranger – a very casual acquaintance, maybe. There were no fun, lighthearted conversations. Everything was so straightforward: question, answer; question, answer. He's always (or, for the most part) been polite, but half of the 15 or so minutes they spent together was either silent or filled with simple "thank you"s. He's not necessarily the most talkative person in the world, but there's usually at least one soliloquy. That's been his thing since they met; since long before they'd ever considered each other friends. Today, he didn't even get that.

He hasn't even seen him since lunchtime, which certainly doesn't make him feel any better. He came out because he needed something. He got that something, and he disapppeared again. And Steve didn't even have an excuse to check on him, either. By the time he was ready to ask if he wanted dinner, FRIDAY said he'd already eaten. The best he could do was peek out at him through the window every now and then to find him either seated or lying very comfortably in the grass.

And it's not like he can blame the guy. He's been stuck inside for the last three years. Of course he wants to go outside. Of course he wants the sunshine and the fresh air. But he wants to do it alone, and that's what he hates. The only company he'll accept is his brother's, and Steve is going to lose his mind over it.

It's trains of thought like these that have kept him up for hours. He's having a hard enough time talking to the Avengers like they're all best friends after they let Wanda mess with Loki's head. Try as he might, he hasn't been able to forgive them, though the way Loki still cares for them makes him feel like he should. But the fact that he lost Loki, too, makes it that much worse. He can't forgive his teammates and he can't talk to Loki. He has no grudge against Bruce, but he's off in his own little sciencey world, and, of course, there's Thor, but they really only talk when they want to talk about Loki, so it's been a lonely few weeks. Loki finally coming out of his room was supposed to fix that, but somehow, he feels more lonely than he did before.

Knock, knock, knock.

Steve scowls. Who's bothering him in the middle of the night? He may not be making any progress in actually falling asleep, but he'd like to have the opportunity to do it.

"Steve?" Loki's voice comes through the door, quiet and almost wary.

Steve furrows his brows. "Loki?" He sits up quickly, resting his back against the headboard. "You, uh... You want to come in?" He wouldn't usually give his invitation as a question, but with how things have been lately, he wouldn't be all that surprised if Loki wants to talk to him through the door.

The door opens, and there Loki stands in his sweatsuit. His hands are tucked into his hoodie pocket, but Steve can see the fabric shift as he fidgets with them. Loki gives him a small, awkward smile. He returns it with an equally awkward one of his own.

"Hey," he says. "You okay?"

Loki nods, though the shrug of his shoulders says he's not so sure.

"What can I do?" Steve asks.