Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 125

Loki feels numb.

He doesn't really feel like he's here. It's as though this body isn't his; as though he's merely floating by it. But the truth is, his body has never been more his in his life. This is him. This blue... monster; it's him.

He's not bothered by what he is so much as he's bothered by what he's not. He could be any being in the universe, but it won't change the fact that he's not Asgardian. They're not his people, and, worse still, he's not one of theirs. He doesn't belong there. He sees that now, more clearly than ever before.

But that's why he thinks the dungeon would work. The dungeons aren't necessarily for Asgardians. He won't be out of place. He won't be intruding. He can go home without truly having to go home. And, really, that's all he wants. He wants to go home.

There's a knock on his door, and he finds himself feeling a little nervous. He wasn't nervous to ask Thor for help, but he's nervous to hear the answer. This is it. This is a pivotal moment in his sentencing. This will quite literally decide the course of his entire life.

He's not sure he's ready.

"Loki?"

His heart stops.

That's not Thor.

He jumps to his feet and runs to his door, faster than he's ever moved in his life. He pulls it open, eyes wide with hope, and...

His breath catches in his throat. He can't believe what he's seeing. Is that...

"Mother?"

Frigga smiles, and he can feel the warmth emanating from her. "Hello, darling."

He doesn't think. He can't think. He throws himself at her, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tight, tight enough to nearly kill a human, but she has no such problem. She only hugs him back, and he's hit with a wave of relief, of serenity, of bliss.

She's here.

His mother is here.

He can feel himself coming undone in her arms like she's the only thing holding him together, like if she let him go, he'd fall apart right then and there. He chokes out a sob, and any semblance of composure he'd had is gone until he's a crying, blubbering mess in her arms.

"It's alright," Frigga coos, rubbing his back soothingly. "It's alright, darling. I'm here."

That only makes him sob more. The years of pain and loneliness have finally reached their end, and he can't hold himself together any longer. And in the comfort of his mother's arms, he's never felt so safe to fall apart.

For a long while, Frigga just holds him. Short of the occasional reassuring whisper in his ear, she's quiet as he breaks down. She doesn't try to rush him. She just lets him cry and cry and cry until he can't cry anymore, and even then, she still holds him close, providing a kind of security he didn't know he was lacking.

"I missed you," Loki whispers.

"I missed you, too," Frigga murmurs.

It grows quiet again, his sobs filling the otherwise silent room. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to do anything. He just wants to be here in this moment. He doesn't know how long this will last, and he's not ready to let it go.

Finally, Frigga breaks the silence, her voice quiet and gentle and loving and everything he's missed in the years he's been away. "Do you want to sit? Or do you want to stay here and talk?"

Loki sniffles and — very reluctantly — lets her go. "You're here to talk?"

Frigga cocks her head to the side, a look of both confusion and amusement on her face. "Why did you think I was here?"