Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 35

Tony lets out a low whistle, eyeing his teammate with a smirk on his lips. "Wow, Barton," he says, "if I wasn't already in a relationship..."

Clint awkwardly tugs on his skin-tight leather catsuit, pulling it away from his skin as well as he can. "This is the most uncomfortable thing I have ever worn."

Natasha pats him on the back with mock sympathy. "Welcome to my life." She snaps her borrowed bow open and pulls out an arrow, setting it gently against the string. She aims it towards a light on the ceiling and draws the arrow back. "You know, I could get used to this."

Tony sighs. "Please don't shoot my lightbulb." He's sure he'll have a few thousand dollars in damages to his tower by the end of the night; he'd like to save what little he can.

Natasha lowers her bow. "You're so boring." She pops the arrow into the quiver strapped to her back, and the bow folds back in on itself. To Clint, she says, "You know, this is nowhere near as practical as a gun, but it feels a lot cooler."

"It's practical if you're good at it," Clint says. "This outfit, though?" He stretches his arms out in front of him, struggling against the tight material. "Definitely not practical."

"But it looks great," Natasha says with a smirk.

"Here, let me fix you up, Widow," Tony says. He gives the punch one last stir before lowering the ladle into the fancy glass bowl that likely will not survive the night. He walks over to Clint, and, enjoying the very confused look he gets, pulls the zipper down to the middle of his chest. "There. Now you look more like her."

Natasha shakes her head to herself, amused.

Clint stretches his arms out again. "How did that make it harder to move? I don't understand the physics of this costume."

"That's what you get for wearing something so stupid," Tony tells him -- though he will admit, when Natasha wears it, it looks damn good on her.

The click-clacking on the stairs signals Pepper's arrival, and Tony looks over excitedly. He hasn't seen her costume yet. She hasn't even told him what it is. He hopes it's a sexy nurse. Or maybe a sexy maid. He'll even settle for a sexy cat — though he's not sure why costume companies decided to make cats sexy.

Unfortunately, her costume isn't that sexy, though he'd be lying if he said it wasn't adorable. She steps into view in the cutest little sky blue plaid dress, reaching just below her knees. Under it, she wears a white shirt with puffy little sleeves, her braided pigtails resting in front of them. She has a little straw basket in her hand, and a stuffed labrador retriever Tony got her on a trip once sits in it. But the best part of the outfit — the part that immediately caught his eye — are her glittery red heels, shimmering in the living room light.

She gets to the landing and curtsies. "So? How do I look?" She strikes a few cute little poses that put a smile on Tony's face.

"Absolutely stunning," Tony says, and he means it, too. Of course, she looks stunning in any outfit — and she looks stunning without one, too.

Pepper clasps her hands in front of her and giggles.

"And you are..." Tony eyes her costume uncertainly. She's supposed to look like... She must be...

Pepper scoffs. "You can't tell?"

"Of course I can tell!" Tony says quickly. "You're... of course... you are..." He grimaces. Okay, here he goes. "Pippi Longstocking?"

Pepper crosses her arms, her straw basket hitting against her stomach. "You're kidding."

"Of course I'm kidding," Tony says quickly. Okay, not Pippie. Then she must be... "You're obviously..."