Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 150

"You really need to stop spending your entire life outside," Tony says. "We tried to call you, like, seven times."

Loki folds his arms across his chest. "Perhaps it's time I receive my own mobile phone, then." Everyone else has one. Even Thor's had a cell phone for years. He'd like one, too. He doesn't think that's unreasonable.

Tony surprises him. "Yeah, sure," he says. "I can pick you up a prepaid flip phone or something next time I'm out."

Loki raises his brows. "Really?"

"Sure." Tony shrugs. "They're not good for anything but phone calls. What's the worst that could happen?"

Oh.

So he'd get a boring phone.

Still, he'd take it. He doesn't need to play Piano Tiles to enjoy having a phone — and if he does want to play Piano Tiles, he can usually just ask Thor, anyway.

"Why were you trying to contact me?" he asks. That's probably a more important topic of conversation.

"To see what you wanted to eat," Tony says. "You never answered, so we got you McDonald's."

Loki grins. "Delicious."

Tony gestures for him to follow, and together, they head for the back door of the compound. This is a very good reason to end his time outside. (Mostly because of the fries. Their nuggets are alright, but their fries are delicious.)

As they're walking, Tony asks, "For future reference 'cause I'm sure this is gonna keep happening, what other kinds of things do you want us to pick up for you while we're out?"

"What other kinds of things are there?" Loki asks.

That ends up being their topic of conversation all the way to the kitchen — and a part of him is shocked to hear that he's lived in this world for three years and he had no idea some of the stuff existed. Some of it, he hasn't had in years — decades, even. Lobster? He used to love lobster back in the... 70s? 80s? It all blends together. It would be nice to try that again.

When he reaches the kitchen, his face falls, and he shoots Tony a look. They got him a Happy Meal. They probably ate at the most amazing restaurant in human history, and they brought him home a kids' meal.

Thor and Steve are here as well, and though Thor and Tony seem to be enjoying this, Steve takes pity on him, because he pulls a real bag of McDonald's off the counter behind him.

"I only let them do it 'cuz the Happy Meal has apple slices and I know you like fruit," Steve tells him. He puts the bag on the table with the Happy Meal. "It was supposed to come with a soda, but Tony drank it."

Tony scoffs. "You didn't have to tell him that!"

Loki waves that off. "It's alright; I don't drink soda." He's never actually had a soda before — that he can remember, at least. He lives on water, juice, and coffee, and that's fine by him.

He really does just want to sit down and dive in, but he told himself he'd tell somebody what happened when they got back, and if he doesn't do it now, he knows he's not going to do it.

He prefaces this by asking Tony, "If I were to tell you something, do I have your word that you will not retaliate against any party involved?"

Tony crosses his arms, cocking an eyebrow. "You do not have my word," he says. "What did you do?"

Loki turns to Steve. "Rogers, if I were to tell you something, do—"

Steve cuts him off with an amused, "I think you gotta tell Tony."