𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝, 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐁𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐧

48. Emale

1:14 AM

Hey! I'm hoping you get this. Nessie gave me your email address. I just wanted to see how you were doing? I miss you. You're probably not going to read this actually so I'm not going to waste my energy typing my heart out to you.

Love you,

Ada

1:20 AM

Type ur heart out.

1:29 AM

Wow! If I thought there was any chance you would respond, I didn't think it'd be within 5 minutes. What are you doing on the computer? This email stuff definitely beats pen and paper huh?

Well, I just wanted to talk to you about the last time we saw each other. But I don't know how safe we are in cyber space. When we talk on the phone, you never want to say much. So do you trust it here?

1:36AM

Confidentiality.

Eye trust that NDA u signed.

1:48AM

I don't feel like writing a letter for the mailman. It'll take too long. And you don't answer the phone anymore. So this AOL is as urgent as I can get. Don't leave. I just need you to hear this. Please.

1:50AM

What?

1:52AM

I am typing. Just wait.

2:06AM

I've thought about going back to you and just throwing myself in your world again. But I don't know how it will work if Aivy is around. And sorry, I don't know how to put an accent over her i so don't bitch at me.

How is she? Did you ever tell her?

I will actually stop here.

Hurry and write me back.

2:10AM

Perfect. No.

& "if"???

2:16AM

"Perfection is a myth."

I wish that night between us never happened. I know now first hand how screwed up your exes felt. How could you say those things to me and then go on live television and claim her as "the parades end"? Was I the last lousy float?

I HATE that I even care. I HATE that I'm even asking you this but did you mean anything you said to me in that studio?

I know that you love her. But I also know things are not "perfect" between you two. And my heart won't let go of potential.

Please just tell me if you meant what you said.

2:20AM

The truth 2 that will do u no good.

Just know that night should've never happened.

2:24AM

I keep typing and then hitting backspace. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose your attention for another 100 years.

I want to talk to Aivy. I want to apologize for how I treated her before I left. It's just hard to think I can actually look her in the eye when I have these feelings for you.

Help me.

2:33AM

Why are you ignoring me? Please say anything.

2:52AM

Eye don't know what 2 do with that.

3:02AM

Why did you kiss me? Why did you tell me if you COULD, you would leave her to have me?

For the last two years I've tried pushing it out of my mind but I just can't. Am I supposed to be the one to rescue you? Do you still feel stuck? Did you mean what you said on that stage? Or did you mean what you said to me 24 hours before?

Don't talk to me in circles.

3:15AM

2 be frank, eye've been awake for 2 days. I'm 2 tired 2 talk in circles. Hear me straight.

U're not in love with me. U're in love with the idea of being in love with me. We never even talk anymore. U're not in love with me & eye'm not in love with u.

That was 2 years ago.

Stop writing me.

3:18AM

PRINCE. You're the one who said time doesn't exist. Two years, sure, but it still feels like yesterday. What am I supposed to do with that?

3:34AM

Read at ur own risk.

!!!

No. Eye meant none of it. We (she & eye) were in a bad space then. She was so preoccupied with her new obsessions that She didn't even notice. So following the pattern, eye wanted out. The only problem was that there was nothing tempting 2 play with. But eye had 2 try & Nessie told me u were in town.

Eye chose u off of a list of options. Eye chose u off a game of eeny meeny miny moe.

In the end, eye found my answer.

& it should be obvious.

3:40AM

(sorry)

3:46AM

What's obvious to everyone around you is that Aivy is fucking her friend Robbie.

But I guess you're okay with that. You really have changed.

Have a nice life.