Pretend (Harry Styles) - Book 3

Chapter 43: The Best Thing

23 Weeks Along

-Harry's POV-

"Are you sure this is alright?"

I glance up at the sound of Ava's voice as I set our bags on the floor of my childhood bedroom.

"Is what alright?" I question.

"Me staying here. I don't want to impose."

"You serious?" I raise my eyebrows at her as she frowns at me.

"Yes, I'm serious."

I try to stifle my chuckle as I take a seat on the bed next to her.

"You're being a bit silly love. Of course you aren't imposing. You see the look on my mums face when she saw you? Nearly shoved me out of the way to hug you."

"She did not." Av rolls her eyes.

"She did, but I'm not the one carrying her grand baby so I understand." I take her hand, pressing a quick kiss to the back of it. "Now stop with that nonsense. She wants you here. Both her and Robin do. You're a part of this family as much as I am now."

She smiles softly as she stares out of the window across from us. Her small fingers entwining with mine as I watch her. Such a simple thing and my heart is already beating a bit faster.

Fuck I missed her.

"It will be a little weird.." She says as she looks around my room, "Staying in here without you."

"I quite fancy the thought. Think my sixteen year old self would give me a high five right now... getting someone as fit as you in my bed."

"Would he?" She purses her lips at me, trying to fight off an amused smile.

"Course." I nod, grinning as I chomp on my gum.

"I'm trying to imagine sixteen year old Harry right now..."

"Don't get yourself to worked up." I cut her off with my teasing. "My mum said dinner would be ready soon. There isn't time for any of that."

She scrunches her nose up at me and it takes everything in me not to kiss her. "Harry, I'm sure you were cute, but I don't think a sixteen year old is going to get me worked up."

"I wouldn't be so sure." My hand moves to her thigh, squeezing it.

"Hands off child." She playfully swats my hand away. "My name isn't Caroline."

My eyes widen as Ava busts out laughing. I can't help but join her as her whole body gently shakes.

"You should of seen your face!" She laughs as I shake my head.

I know my cheeks are flushed. Ava and I have discussed some of my past relationships, but not that one. I never wanted to. With anyone.

Especially not with Ava.

I didn't even want to consider what she would think of that. It's fucking embarrassing. It seemed like a good thing at the time. But only a very short time before I realized it wasn't a good thing at all.

Av is a good thing. The best thing.

Everything else before her, everyone else before her.. was a mistake. I knew they all were. I could feel it only days in. A tight feeling in my chest when I would wake up next to them, a bit of panic that this was all I was ever going to have. It never felt right.

Then I met Ava and my entire world changed. The first morning I woke up next to her I knew. Without a doubt I was certain I wanted to wake up next to her every morning. I didn't feel panic when I opened my eyes and she was laying in my arms. I felt relief. There was no tight feeling in my chest, like I was slowly being suffocated. It felt like I could breathe properly for the first time.

Nothing feels right like Av does. Nothing can compare to how it feels to make her smile. To hold her. To know she's mine. To know I'm starting a family with her...

"Earth to Harry."

I blink a few times, snapping myself out of my thoughts.

"Sorry. What?" My eyes meet Ava's as she snickers at me.

"Daydreaming about old times?" She teases, wiggling her eyebrows.

"No." I shake my head. "Just you."

"What about me?"

"Your boobs mostly." I chuckle. "Grown even more haven't they?"

I reach out to touch them, laughing as Ava smacks my hand away.

"Perv."

"Cheeky." I correct her before pulling her body towards mine.

I move her so she's sitting on my lap, a small huff leaving her lips at the difficulty she has straddling me. Her round belly presses against my stomach as I push her hair off her shoulders.

Her big brown eyes stare into mine as I run my fingers over her lips.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." I say softly.

"Harry..."

"I'm never there. Not when you really need me."

"That's not true." She shakes her head.

"Is though. Wasn't there when Scott..." I look past her as the memory hits me. "When he hurt you. I wasn't there then. And I wasn't here this time either."

"Stop blaming yourself." She grips my chin gently so I'll look back into her eyes. "Please stop blaming yourself."

"I can't be here like you need me to be. I can't take care of you like I should be."

"You have taken care of me. In so many ways. And you still are. You don't have to physically be with me to take care of me Harry." She says sternly.

I sigh, wrapping my arms around her waist. "I hate this."

"It's only a few more months." She smiles, trying to lighten the mood. "Then the tour will be over. By the time the next one starts, she'll be old enough we can just travel with you."

"Is that really what you want?" I question, "To follow me around with a newborn?"

"Yes." She replies with no trace of doubt. "I do."

A rush of air escapes my lips at her words. I needed to hear them. After all the shite she's been dealing with, I needed to hear she's still with me.

She shouldn't be. I know she shouldn't. She's put up with so much from me. Lies, secrets, and now the backlash of us getting married and pregnant. It's so much to deal with.

To much to deal with... When all she gets in the end is me.

I'm not worth it.

I'm not worth her getting followed to the point of getting hurt. I'm not worth someone breaking into our flat and putting her in danger for a story about me.

But she's still here. Waiting for me to come back from tour. Ready to follow me around the world once again. Willing to look past all of the shit just to be with me.

It makes me love her even more, if that's even possible. And it makes me determined not to let anything else happen to her because of me.

Ava's soft lips pressing against mine only fortifies my resolve.

I'll do whatever is necessary to keep her and our baby safe.

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Please vote! Sorry I haven't been updating as much lately. Recent events have got me lacking motivation. Trying to snap myself out of it and give Hava the attention they deserve. Please be patient with me when it takes me a while longer to write a chapter I'm happy with. :) Rushing this story and chapters would be a shame after all the time and love I've put into it. Thank you so much for continuing to read, vote, and comment. It really means so much to me. More Hava to come soon! Drama is so so so close... As in the next chapter!!