Pretend (Harry Styles) - Book 3

Chapter 63: "I always need you."

35 Weeks Along

-Harry's POV-

"Can we get a picture?"

I shake my head, keeping it down as security pushes me through the crowd.

"Sorry, not today. I'm sorry." I say over and over again.

I hate telling them no. But I couldn't say yes.

They called after me, but I didn't stop. I only felt worse with each step I took. I knew it would be the only chance some of them would ever have to get one with me.

But I couldn't. Not today.

I was barely holding it together as it was.

The whole plane ride I tried to sleep. I finally resorted to pulling out an old book, hoping to pull my thoughts away from what had happened. I gave up when I realized I'd read the same page five times and had no bloody idea what it said.

So I just sat there, trying my best to keep it together. Not wanting to see pictures of me crying on a plane gracing this weeks magazine cover.

I'd somehow managed to bottle it all inside, ignoring the dull ache in my chest the entire flight.

How they found out I was flying in so quickly I had no idea. It still amazes me how the fans find out where I am. I usually find it endearing they are so devoted.

But today, I only find it suffocating and intrusive.

I breath a sigh of relief when I slide into the back of the black town car waiting for me, pulling off my hat and giving the driver a quick hello.

It takes a few minutes to get through Heathrow's car park, a few fans blocking the way before we eventually make it out onto the street.

I watch the darkened city pass by as we head towards my flat, feeling nothing but lost on the streets I know like the back of my hand.

I almost tell the driver to turn around. To instead head north. Towards Poppy's flat.

Towards Ava.

But I don't.

I rub my hands on the knees of my black jeans, cursing myself for the thought. I've already asked to much of her as it is. And she agreed to go with me tomorrow. I can't believe she did, but I won't question it.

I need her support.

I just need her with me.

I won't ask more from her then that. No matter how much I want to show up at her doorstep and beg her to let me stay with her, I won't. She's still deciding if she wants to give us another try, and I won't push her.

Instead I pull my phone out of my pocket and write a simple text.

To Av: #19 Cause the thought of you makes me happy, even now. x

"We're here Mr. Styles."

I look up, realizing the car is now pulled up to my gate.

"Right. Sorry." I roll my window down and punch in the gate code so he can drive on through.

I give him a thank you and a tip before grabbing my bag out of the boot and heading towards the front door.

I fish the keys out of my bag, trying a few times before I actually get the key to fit into the lock. When I hear it click and open, a wave of tiredness hits me.

But I know I won't be getting any sleep tonight. It will be the same as it was on the plane. My body physically exhausted, but my mind not giving in.

I close the large door, locking it before turning around.

What I find makes the breath catch in my throat.

Ava.

Stood in my entryway, wearing a large jumper and leggings.

Waiting for me.

I don't even realize there's tears running down my cheeks till she steps towards me and wipes them away with her thumbs.

Such a small act of comfort has me completely breaking down, unable to hold it together any longer.

So for the first time since I heard the news, I let myself cry. I let my head drop down onto Ava's shoulder as her arms wrap around my neck. I let my own move around her waist, holding her tightly to me.

Selfishly taking any amount of her love she's willing to give to me.

She cries with me, I can feel her body slightly tremble every few moments in my arms.

"Shhhh." She pets the back of my neck, speaking quietly. "It's alright. I'm here."

The words nearly make my knees give out from under me.

I suck in a shakes breath, raising my head off her shoulder.

"You need to sit down?" She asks, somehow sensing my strength giving out.

I nod, letting her lead me into the living room, still in shock she's here with me. I love her so damn much.

When she lets go of my hand, I'm almost afraid that's the last I'll feel of her touch tonight. But she surprises me again by grasping my arm, pulling me to sit down next to her.

We sit in silence until I work up the courage to take her hand, entwining our fingers.

"I'm sorry." My voice comes out a bit hoarse from crying. "I'm so sorry Ava."

She squints as she stares forward, trying not to let a few rouge tears escape her eyes. "Let's not talk about that tonight alright?"

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Harry please." She looks into my eyes, hers pleading me to stop.

"I.. I didn't mean what I said. I didn't." I wipe my eyes with my cast covered hand as best I can. "I didn't. I want this baby more then I've ever wanted anything. It's not an inconvenience. It isn't. It's..."

"Please don't." She shakes her head. "Not tonight alright? Not tonight."

I nod, looking down at my lap. Ashamed to have even brought it up. She's already here with me when she shouldn't be.

"You tired? You should get some rest."

"I am, but can't sleep. You know how I get." I shrug, picking at the frayed knee of my jeans.

"I could stay.."

My eyes shoot up, locking with hers.

"I mean, if you want..." She goes on. "I could stay."

"You.. You would do that?" I question.

She nods slowly. "I just thought it might help you sleep. Number 17 remember?"

For the first time in twenty four hours my lips curve into the slightest smile. "I do. Does this mean you agree with my reasons?"

"It means I agree with one of your reasons."

I nod, a frown overtaking my face as I look at her. "Why you doing this?"

She looks away from me as she stands up. "Because you need me right now."

"I always need you." I reach my hand out as I stand up, grasping her arm gently. "Why're you here Ava?"

I gaze down at her, wishing my stare alone could make her admit it.

But she won't.

Instead she leads me towards the bedroom, where I end up laying in bed with her in my arms.

Where I end up finally falling asleep.

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Just cause I love you guys so much.... A Double Update! :) Sorry for the lack of pictures, Wattpad is not letting me add them! :(