Learning To Love

chapter 30

Warning: this entire chapter contains very difficult subject matter. I will do a small recap at the end of the chapter if you would prefer to skip it.

I woke up with the feeling that I was falling, and startled out of my bed. Panting, I wiped a trickle of sweat that collected in my hair and started to fall down my forehead. I couldn't remember what I was dreaming about, but I felt uneasy.

Looking over at my window, the golden hour of morning sun was just ending, the strings of my bass guitar glared in the light. Brassy chords shimmering against ocean blue with hot orange flames. I loved my guitar, it was everything to me.

Last night felt like a fever dream, like I read a random page to Fifty shades grey. Except it was Fifty shades of Lucas.

I felt instant butterflies in my stomach thinking about it. It made me feel nervous. I can't believe it actually happened. Did it?

Stretching and rubbing my eyes, I got out of my bed. I wasn't sure what to do with myself today. My mouth felt dry.

I changed out of my boxers and shirt into black track pants and a black hoodie. It wasn't like me to dress in such a comfortable style, but I couldn't bother to dress up today. I tied my hair up into a pony tail on the top of my head, it was starting to get long, reaching my collar bone now.

The box of cookies sat on my desk, it still smelt sweet in my room becuase of them.

I wasn't sure if Robert was home or not. I didn't really want to find out, but it was in my best interest to. If he isn't home, then I could eat something, if he is, then I'll have to go out to get something. I wondered if he was still going to be nice to me. I couldn't rely on it.

I took a deep breath and walked out into the hall, I would grab a glass of water. It was harmless.

I tried to listen past the creaking of my own footsteps, for breathing, coughing, smoking. Then I sniffed, I couldn't smell anything potent like beer or cigarette smoke. I started to think that maybe he was out of the house again.

Turning into the living room, I saw him on the couch, he was on his phone. I passed into the kitchen and grabbed a cup, turning the tap on and filling it with water. The silence in the room was becoming unsettling.

I faced away from him, staring out the kitchen window above the sink, gazing at the road.

It was raining.

I heard his body lift off the couch, and walk away from the living room. His foot steps followed into the kitchen. I didn't want to turn around. I didn't want to move. Maybe if I just stood here, innocently drinking a glass of water, he'll leave me alone.

Every step got closer to me, I could hear them follow in my direction. Right behind me.

I held my eyes shut, grasping the glass in my hand.

Please just leave me alone!

Warning: difficult subject matter, abuse, blood, violence, mentions of death.

A sudden sharp pain sprawled across my skin on the right side of my head, and heat spread over the surface of the area. The glass fell out of my hand and into to sink, shattering instantly. The sound of glass echoed throughout the house, stinging loudly in my ears.

I whipped around, holding the side of my head in pain. He winded up to swing again, I tried to push him away from me, but his fist came crashing down on my face again, clipping my jaw.