Learning To Love

Chapter 33

My drive back to the hospital was reckless as I delved into my thoughts and ideas, but got no where.

I wanted to believe that he doesn't hurt him. I want to believe everything Ollie's says to me. I want to trust him.

But the truth hurts.

I was trying to collect my thoughts, my emotions. So many things have just happened with no time for it to settle in.

One minute Ollie's dead, the next he's alive, a second later it's possibly his fathers doings. A step back and maybe it's not.

I was dying to talk to Ollie, dying!

I know I wouldn't be able to for a while, until he's stable. It would kill me. It would destroy me.

Not knowing.

The second he's awake I will talk to him, I will wait here for that exact moment. I will wait night and day for the precise moment his eyes flutter open.

A part of me still feels like he's gone. A part feels detached as if nothing has even happened. The rest, anger.

Control yourself Lucas, just like you were taught to.

Lightning struck as I got out of my car, it was almost afternoon but it felt like midnight. The way the clouds covered the sky, leaving complete darkness and solemn raindrops everywhere.

Stay composed.

I walked back into the hospital and sat in one of the many chairs in the lobby. I would wait, and wait, and wait.

"Oh, Lucas! There you are!" The familiar voice called. They approached me and looking up I realized it was the lady who helped me. I had completely forgotten about her.

"I have good news for you." I sat up higher in my chair.

"Ollie McLain is doing well. The surgery was a success. He will need a long treatment of exercise therapy to get his abdominal muscles to properly re-attach. Doctors say that within 4-5 months he should gain back full mobility and be about 80% recovered." She looked down at me with a smile spread across her lips. She must love giving this kind of news.

"Can I see him?" My heart was pumping blood faster than my body could keep up with. Just thrashing in my chest, rattling my bones and hitching my breath.

"You can be in the room but you cannot disturb him. You would have to be extremely careful and if he wakes, notify a doctor immediately."

I sprouted out of my chair, walking through the hallway they dragged him down.

"What room?" I asked as I noticed she was practically running to keep up with me.

"The last one on the right!" She said in distress.

The door was slightly ajar.

I took a deep breath.

Control.

I barely recognized him.

His hair was a tangled mess, damp with sweat. His eyes had bruises under them, or so it looked. I'd never seen him so pale. Tubs sprawled all over him.

The woman was standing behind me.

I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I was too afraid to. I just hovered over him, watching his body struggle to breath.

I felt everything and nothing.

Memories, thoughts, words and feelings clouded my mind and swirled around so fast I couldn't hold onto anything.