Learning To Love

chapter 32

"He has been stabilized." She answered curtly as she walked into the room.

"He's alive?" My eyes opened wide in disbelief.

"Yes." She flipped through the pages on her desk.

"Your in paramedic training?" She asked as she read off a paper. "Why didn't you use your siren or anything?"

Her words echoed in my head. They spun around and around until they manipulated into spikes that dug deep into my skull. I couldn't answer the question, because I didn't have an excuse. I have a sticker on my car and a siren and light in my glove box. I'm fully aloud and capable of having the same properties of an ambulance on the road. how could I have forgotten this?

"I-I don't..."

I'm in paramedic training.

It was as if I forgot everything, the world didn't exist, I didn't exist, nothing did. I'd forgotten all of my training, everything I've worked so hard for. My goal in life was to help people. The chance I have to actually do it, the moment someone actually needs me.

I choke.

He could have been dead and it would've been my fault. I've failed as a paramedic. This realization took grasp of me and shook me until my bones shivered.

A failure.

"I need a moment." I stepped out of the room, my feet felt like anchors as I walked down the hallway.

The second fresh air hit me as I exited out of the door, it was a relief. I had adrenaline rushing everywhere. I wanted to kill something. Maybe myself, maybe who ever or whatever it was that did this to Ollie.

Ollie.

I haven't lost you.

I looked up as the rain splattered on my face, clouds rumbling, lightening flashing across my eyes.

I wanted to raise hell. I wanted to destroy everything.

The rage started in my chest and burned its way up my throat, ready to breath fire.

I had a gut feeling that something happened in that house. Something wrong with that father of his.

He was home, so why the fuck didn't he help him?

Because he did it to him.

I didn't know this for a fact. If I were to go there now, I might kill him. If I were to go there anytime at all, I might kill him. One look from Ollie in the driveway, the distance he kept, the scars.

The scars!

I ran to my car.

The scars, the scars, the scars! How could I possibly forget about the scars!

It was him!

I slammed my door and revved the engine.

I'm going to kill him.

Speeding out of the emergency exit from the hospital, I started going 90 down the main road.

Could it be him? Could he have possibly done this to his own son?

My tires locked as they screeched across the pavement, the car behind me pressing it's horn.

I need more information, more signs. I need to be 100% sure that it was him.

When the light turned green I sped on.

Think! What are some things he's said, things he's done?