His tattoos - Minsung-

Darkness

Jisung sat at the desk in his room. He had to do an art piece for his first customer on monday. The customer requested a skull with a snake and flowers and gave Jisung freedom for the way he designed it. Those were Jisungs favourite projects.

So he turned on the lamp on his desk and put airpods in. As soon as they connected he blasted music. He took the pencil and the world went silent for him.

He started sketching, using a picture of a skull for reference on his phone. Once again line by line, letting the pencil roughly scratch the paper. Drawing and tattooing was his type of escape. As well as writing songs. Others have therapy.

This was his therapy.

But at the same time so many thoughts went through his head. They were flodding in non stop and he tried to block them out with the music, turning it up even more. He tried focusing on the art piece more. The outline was done, now he tried shading bone structures.

Over the years his art had improved a lot. He used to draw uneven stickmans and hearts that looked like bums. Literally.

But now he was able to sculpt beautiful creatures and bring his drawings to life with shading and using different art styles. He did tattoos from fine line art to watercolour painting styles.

But still it felt like he had to learn so much more. Every new tattoo was a new challenge.

And he loved the stories of customers. Often people share their meanings behind the tattoos and he had done tattoos with such a big background that he had to hold back Tears.

The skull was done, now on to the flowers. For these he drew out of his head, just adding one after the other.

The whole time a certain Person was not leaving his mind.

And now he couldn't concentrate anymore.

The music switched to a sad song, one he had always listened to when he was going through a hard time. Memories came back.

He had felt weird since they came back, but now as it was slowly getting dark outside and he was completely alone, the feeling crept up over his whole body.

Anxiety. Overthinking.

Jisung was used to it, it wasn't anything new. But this time it was all about one person.

Minho.

Abruptly he got up and turned of the lamp. Instead of getting outside or laying into his bed he slowly got down to the ground. He sat down, leaning against his bedframe and let the darkness take over him.

Because it is already getting closer to winter the sun was now completely away at not even 6pm.

Jisung stared at the ceiling.

What if Minho doesn't even like me?

How could Minho ever want me?

He doesn't, simple.

What do I do now?

I don't deserve him, he is too precious.

I would ruin him with my problems.

I could never be enough for him.

It wasn't stopping, the train of thoughts could not be broken.

He started feeling lightheaded, his heartrate shot up and he was shivering now. Actually he was having hot- cold flashes.

I have to leave him alone.

It will be better for him.

Slowly he took deep breaths through his mouth, filling his lungs with fresh air.