His tattoos - Minsung-

Problems

There was something in that sudden realization that made Jisung get quiet. He felt like screaming, but there was nothing coming out of his mouth.

While his heart was jumping out of excitement, his brain was grieving.

He had always chosen the path his brain had told him, had always ignored his heart. And now that he put his heart first, his second choice was still trying.

There is no escape from this thing called overthinking, anxiety. And even here, with his lover on the phone right beside him, there was no way out.

Minho had snuggled into his blankets, already closing his eyes.

"I love you Jisung." He mumbled, the words still clearly reaching Jisungs ears.

"I love you too Minho, sleep well."

Jisung layed down aswell, knowing that Minho will drift off into a deep sleep in a few seconds. He himself would be awake for a long time today.

So he rested his head against the pillow, seeking the warmth of the blanket. Seeking the comfort of the weight surrounding him. The best comfort he could've had wasn't here right now, but he did not want to complain about that.

He knew that sleep would not come easily this night. He knew the feeling that crept up his body too well, being too familiar with it. Too many restless nights and ruined moments coming from it.

Also knowing that the feeling wouldn't necessarily leave tomorrow, he set his alarm so he could go to work. There was a need for distraction in him. He couldn't go on with his day alone without getting eaten by the thoughts that wouldn't leave his mind.

You are happy.

You have found a guy that you love.

Why are you suddenly acting like this?

You can't ruin this for yourself. Let yourself enjoy the moment.

Confusion.

Sadness.

Anger.

Nothing was against Minho, Minho had nothing to do with it at all. And that was exactly what made him feel even worse. He was doing this all to himself. Nobody told him anything.

You still don't deserve him.

He'll leave you anyways though. He will find better.

The lies were being fed to him by his anxiety.

Once again he was lost in the dark. It had been some time since it last happened like this, without any reason. When he was with Minho all those negative thoughts left him, they were replaced by love. Love for Minho.

Minho was sleeping soundly, having no idea what was going on on the other side of the line.

Jisung hung up, turning off his phone before staring at the wall. Letting himself get consumed by his mind.

Minho was leaning against the wall of the house next to the tattoo studio, waiting for Jisung to get out. He shouldn't have worked today, he was still sick.

Minho was worried, by now he knew Jisung loved his job, and he knew how much of a distraction it was for him. But what did he need to be distracted from?

There was no text message, no picture, nothing. Jisung had not reached out to him all day, even after he had texted him multiple times.

The urge to barge in was huge, to pull Jisung out and slap him across the face, gently of course, to get some clear thoughts into his head. To make him notice that his body still needed rest, and that he wasn't doing it any favours.

Atleast he knew that Chan and Changbin wouldn't allow him to have any clients, just art projects.

He had an uneasy feeling, it wasn't normal for Jisung to not text him.

Especially not when he would have had the time.

And there he was, Jisung stepped out of the door, immediately reaching for his pocket, pulling out the pack of cigarettes Minho hadn't seen in a while. Minho saw him pull one of them out and sticking it between his lips, holding out his hand to protect it from any wind as he lit it.

Right as Jisung wanted to start walking Minho touched his arm softly. The younger flinched at the sudden touch, not realizing that somebody had been standing next to him. He coughed, the shock had made him stop the breathing down of the smoke, which resulted in it getting stuck in his throat.

"Sorry Sung, didn't want to frighten you." Minho giggled, playing off the strange feelings. Acting as if nothing was wrong.

A soft smile spread over Jisungs face, but it soon got replaced again by the numb facade.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was colder than usual. It made Minho insecure.

"I thought I could maybe stay over at yours?"

"Why didn't you ask?" A question that Minho had never heard before.

"I did. You didn't answer. It seemed as if you were too busy" A hint of jealousy painted the sound of his voice.

Instead of the usual reassuring words only a nod came from Jisung.

"Okay lets go."

They were walking side by side. Not exchanging any words. When Minho tried to initiate a conversation Jisungs answers were short. So short and bored that Minho stopped trying. He was not having it.

Finally they arrived at the Apartment, and as soon as the door shut close behind them Minho called Jisung out. He was tired of not knowing anything.

"Jisung can you tell me what's wrong? I've noticed your weird behaviour."

"What are you saying Minho? I'm normal."

"No you are not. Don't you dare lie to me." Minhos voice was stern.

"I am fine Minho, don't worry."

Minho was sick of Jisungs acting.

"You haven't been texting me all day. Yesterday you hung up our call when I fell asleep."

"It's not a big deal, calm down." Jisung was avoiding his eye contact, looking at random objects in the apartment.

"To me it is, and you know that. What is your fucking problem?" Minho was on the verge of tears, he was angry, upset. He had thought that he had gained Jisungs trust, that they were at the point in their relationship were they could talk to each other.

Jisung was still quiet. Minho thought that he was thinking. Thinking about opening up.

"There is nothing wrong."

He exploded.

"JISUNG DAMN IT I CAN'T DO THIS IF YOU WON'T TALK TO ME!"