'Till Time Runs Out

Chapter 21: I'm Going To Hold On

-Darcy's POV-

A few months had passed by and it was now April Emily had just turned 11. There was a big party. But they day after myself and mum had to break the news to her. Mum decided it had been long enough. The only reason we hadn't told her sooner was because she was so young. We found out about this when I was 10 so almost 6 years ago and Em was only 5 so we obviously weren't going to tell a 5 year old this kind of news. We were just waiting for the right time and mum decided she was old enough and mature enough now. There was a lot of screaming and crying and freaking out when we told her and since then she hardly ever wants to leave my side. Matthew and I have been dating for just over 2 months and they had been the best 2 months of my life. He makes me the happiest person. Had I told him yet. No I hadn't I knew I would have to tell him soon. And sure I had tried a couple of times but I never can actually do it. I freak out and just cant do it. I was turning 16 in 2 months. I was truly a miracle child. Making it to 16 is a big deal for kids like me, in my condition I mean. But I guess I am just lucky. 

After mum told the news to Emily she began spreading it like wild fire. Telling all our family and friends. Leaving out one person and one person only Matthew. I think this was a way of getting me to tell him. She even used the lines. 'Well you better tell him before someone else does' She even called Liam and Danica way out in LA and they were the only people I was scared would tell Matthew. But luckily mum tells me after that she told Liam not to mention it to Matthew yet and that I was 'working up the courage' to tell him. Why thanks mum. Everyone needs to know that I am a wimp. The reaction to mum telling everyone was very shocked and upset. One of the days I probably got about 20 calls all of them telling me how sorry they were. 

It was a friday night and Matthew said he wanted to take me out tonight. So I of course agreed. Why would I ever turn down an offer from him. As I got ready I danced around, I was a much happier person with him than I was without him. When the door bell rang I basically skipped up the stairs. I opened the door and flung my arms around him giving him a kiss. Remember that rule I said about no kissing infront of my parents well I was suprisingly the one to break that rule and now I dont even care anymore. I said bye to my mum and emily and off we went. There was a carnival in town and I soon clued in that we were going there when I saw the bright lights coming up. I had only ever been to the carnival when I was a little girl so I was over the moon excited. He parked the car and bought our tickets and we went in. My eyes shot around to all the rides and lights and food and games. This was going to be such a fun night. Of course I dragged Matthew to the biggest roller coaster first because I had always loved them and this one was huge and had 3 upside down parts. We probably went on 30 rides and had a blast on all of them. Cheesily he played a game and won me the biggest stuffed animal that was there. He picked out the big monkey and I had to hide my exitement the monkey was the one I wanted it was just so big and cute. We got some hot dogs the classic carnival food and also some cotton candy. Then lined up for the ferris wheel. Movies always show that the ferris wheel seems to be the most romantic place to be at a carnival with the person you are with and they were right. For some reason being on the ferris wheel with him felt so special. Once we stopped semi near the top he looks towards me. 

"Darcy.. I have something to tell you" he says nervously and I begin freaking out what could it be. I nod my head anxiously. "Well I've known this for a while now.. and i've just been waiting for the right time to tell you" with those words I feel like I am about to cry. But suddenly his tone changes. "I'm inlove with you Darcy, you make me the happiest guy in the world and to some people this may seem crazy that I am telling you I love you after only these past 2 months. But they dont know us, and they dont know that these past 2 months have been the best two months and I know it is just the start but I am so excited for our life together Darcy. I love you so much" he tells me and I am absolutely speechless. Actually I am pretty sure I have forgotten how to speak and am scared that if I say anything it will just sound like gibberish. But I take a deep breath and say how I feel. 

"I love you too Matthew.. You are everything to me and I cant imagine a life without you" I say and slam my lips to his. And there we were the perfect scene from a movie sat ontop of the ferris wheel making out after confessing our love for each other. How incredibly cheesy but I dont care it was romantic. We finish of our night at the ferris wheel and it was the best night of my life so far. We drove back to his place we were watching a movie but soon forgot about the movie and began making out on the couch and as we were doing it I suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Like I needed to tell him. I remove my lips from his and sit up on the couch. 

"Darcy what is it?" he asks confused. 

"I need to tell you something Matthew.. And it isn't anything good" I mutter. I knew I wouldn't last long into this without crying. He flicks on the lights and looks towards me waiting for me to say something. "This is going to change everything Matthew.. Ok so when I was 10 years old I was rushed into the hospital because I was unable to breathe, similar to what happened a few months ago my lungs tore and fluids were getting into my lungs. In surgery they found something pressing against my lungs. In the first place my lungs were very thin but with this mass pressing against my lungs it made everything worse... The mass was a tumour. It was a huge tumour pressing against my lungs. After reappairing my lungs they took me to recovery at that point telling my parents that I had cancer. Over the years they have been trying to find a way to disect it without killing me and so far have been unsuccessful. They have taken me for many surgeries reducing the size and that has sort of helped. I was given a few months to live when they discovered it.. A few months. But I defied those odds and have almost made it to 6 years. No one thought I would make it this long no one.. But at the rate everything is going and the fact that my body is getting weaker. They say there is a 5 percent chance I will make it past 20.." I say tears were now falling down my face and it all became real to me. All of it. This is why I didn't tell him. Because telling him meant that it was real and now it is just so real. I will never get married. I will never have kids. I wont have a life. I wont be alive. I will be gone. I will never see my family or friends again. I wont see Matthew again. I wont get to grow old with Matthew. 

"No.. That can't be right.. You cant have cancer.. You cant!" he screams. Looking at him I could see his heart breaking piece by piece I could see him falling apart and as he did I did. "We are suppose to be together forever! How am I suppose to live when you die!? How am I suppose to live!" he screams tears were streaming down both of our faces.

"Matthew. I am here! I am going to hold on as long as my body will let me! I am not going anywhere yet ok! I am right here" I say placing my hands on his face trying to get him to look at me. But he wouldn't he just shook my hands off of him. 

"I I can't do this right now.. I need to be alone. Please go home.. Please" he stutters not looking up at me. It was 11 at night. I didn't feel comfortable walking. I couldn't walk through the city at this time. I slowly stand up, I walk over to him giving him a kiss on the head before saying goodbye and that I love him. I send my mum a text asking her to come pick me up from his flat. I was only a 15 minute drive. But as I sat down in the lobby of his flat building by myself I could feel my whole body falling apart piece by piece. He told me to leave.  He didn't want me. He doesn't want me now. I sat on the chair tears falling down my face unable to stop this feeling of being unwanted. I see lights pulling up and I trudge out of the building towards the car seeing that it was my mum I hop in the front seat beside her. Tears still falling down my face.

"Darcy what happened?!" she asks worriedly, I just shake my head. 

"I told him" I cry and thats all that needs to be said. We get home and I go downstairs into my room and fall on my bed. My mum lies beside me holding me in her arms trying to whisper soothing words to me. But nothing could work. All I wanted was to be in Matthew's arms. 

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The reveal. Now you all know what is wrong.. 

-Hannah(:

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