'Ya Allah, please give me strength. I can't see him with her. It's killing. My heart drops every time I see them share an eye contact. Everytime he smiles at her, everytime he pulls out a chair for her. It's all killing me slowly, like a poison taking its time. The bolus of food refuses to go down my oesophagus, stuck in my throat choking me.
I have tried so hard to pretend her presence in my home doesn't affect me but it does. It takes everything in me to not drag her by her hair and throw her out of my territory. Because it is all mine. Abbaji, Saroj chachi, Asad even, all of these are my people and I would be damned if I let a newcomer snatch it away from me. Please make it better Allah, please.' I pray in my heart trying to swallow the food stuck in my throat as tears burn the corner of my eyes.
Asad is holding her hand under the table as we eat, such that Abbaji can't see it and I clearly can. They are startled and separate when I choke on my food, the tears trickling down my eyes.
"Hooriya, are you okay?" The witch asks in a concerned tone. I just nod drinking water as Saroj chachi pats my back. I have lost my appetite so I give some excuse and rush to my room. I slide against my door crying silently. This is what I have been doing from the last week since he brought her for the first time. She comes almost everyday after that, talking to everyone sweetly and spending time with my workaholic husband who is home almost everytime now.
I walk to the mirror, which reflects a lifeless body, with baggy clothes, shrunken cheeks and red eyes due to lack of sleep. I can't recognize myself anymore. Before I can wipe the tears, the door is barged open.
Aaad strides towards me holding my shoulders and turning me around, I look up without hiding anything because I am fed up. Of the pretence. Of the facade. Everything.
"What did you do down there? Why are you acting as if I have taken your damn kidney? What's your problem? Until yesterday you were okay with me having ten more wives." he snarls. His face contorted into a furious expression.
So he knows. He overheard our conversation. Yesterday while talking to Abba to convince him not to take any harsh steps towards Vijayapet I had told him that I don't care about Asad. That I won't give two flying shits if he had ten more wives. That he is just a burdened relation on me and a means to an end. That I don't love him. All lies. I know, but I had to convince abba Asad meant no harm.
Even though I want someone to beat the hell out of him, he is still my husband. It's my responsibility to protect him. I will, as far as I can.
I look up with tears in my eyes, I will not accept that his relation with Sabrina affects me, that would be my failure.Because that's what he wants, for me to suffer. It was not difficult to figure out why he is doing this. I can bet my life he has never had a romantic relationship with Sabrina. He is doing all this for revenge. I thought i could stand this act. But I can't, it's killing me.
Even when I know he is most probably pretending, it's impossible for me to see him with someone else. I thought i will wait until his marriage, see for my own self the destruction of my lovelife and get the hell out of Vijayapet. But I can't take it anymore. The tears don't stop, what changed is his expressions. His eyes showcase so many emotions. Anger, hatred, pain, and what stand out the most is conflict.
"It doesn't affect me. You can still have ten more wives and I won't care." My painful whisper seems to infuriate him more as he pulls my body undeniably close to his, out heart beats matching their pace, our eyes shining with mirth.
"So you will not care, huh? If I do this to any other woman." He whispers as his fingers trace the sides of my waist, running them at a fast pace. His other hand cups my ass, squeezing it and I hold back a moan.
I clutch his collars trying to regain my senses, since I am high on the feel of him right now. His finger raises my chin staring directly in my eyes, as his other hand goes from the back of my neck to the length of my spinal cord, which has me shivering.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me it will not affect you if I make love to someone that is not you." His authoritative voice only adds to my mute state.
My fingers seem to have a mind of their own as they wrapped around his neck pulling him urgently to my lips. I sigh in delight when our lips finally meet, how I missed his lips. My tears flowing down as we kiss passionately, his lips pulling, sucking and biting mine. I let him take the lead, trying to portray my pain. Pain I felt when I saw him with another woman. Making love is a far fetched thing, I can't tolerate any woman in a meter's radius with him.
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I moan and hiss all at the same time when his teeth bite my neck. I am sure it is going to leave a huge mark. At the same time, his hands work on my zipper as he pulls it down. I hide my face in the crook of his neck when cool air hits my naked flesh. He pulls the straps down my shoulders. The top pools down at my legs, his hands now provided with more skin to explore.
I can't think straight, all I can do is feel. Feel his hands everywhere on my body, feel his breathe tickling my neck, his hard chest against my sensitive bosom, and his lips on my shoulder. He repeatedly kisses the mole on my shoulder growling when he sees the skin has turned red.
"You are mine Hoor. You are mine to hold and cherish. No man can see you in this vulnerability but me." he growls again kissing every part of my exposed torso. That's when I tense, every muscle in my body freezing. Realisation dawns on me, the first thing I do is jerk away his hands. The same hands he held Sabrina with. A disgusted look formed on my face unknowingly and I turn my back to him.
"Leave" I whisper. And he does, walking out on me without even trying once.
