FROM NEVER TO HAPPILY EVER!

11.

Suman Malik.

"Par aapi ap achanak mukar kaise gayi. Agar meri baat hai, to mai wada karti hu. Mai khula lungi unse aur waise hi mera selection hogya hai Yale University me. Mujhe hamesha  Human Psychology me honours karna tha aur unhone mujhe accept kia with scholarship. Mera reporting letter pichle hafte hi aya hai. Meri taraf se apki shadi me koi rukawat nahi hogi", I tell her trying to keep my emotions at bay.

She turns to me, looking at me with tears shining in her eyes, "Mai manti hu Suman ki tumhare Nikah ke baad hi mujhe Fayaz se duri bana leni chahiye thi. Mujhe usse call pe bas ek dost ke nathe baat karni chahiye thi aur sabse badi baat to ye ki mujhe pehle usse saaf kar dena chahiye tha ki mai apni behen ka ghar to kabhi nhi todungi. Amma, baba ne mujhe isse behtar parvarish di hai aur tum ye janti ho.

Ham dono me hamesha tum zyada samajhdar thi ye sach hai. Lekin tumne mujse is buzdili ki ummeed kaise karli? Manti hu Fayaz aur mai dono pehle ek dusre se shadi karna chahte the magar kismat ko wo manzur na tha. Aur shayad khala ye baat janti thi ke jo mohabbat tum Khilb ko aur Fayaz ko de sakti ho wo mai kabhi na de pati, wo 40 saal Mallika-e-Khilb reh chuki thi", she exhaled deeply after her words.

I take a sharp breath, not expecting this turn of events. I am at a loss of words. The person that I thought was actually the problem is not a problem at all. Which makes this situation even worse.

I look at her, with one final conviction. There is no lies in her eyes, they are shining and it only means one thing. She means what she said and this is not a cross over.

I tap her shoulder in gratitude, thanking the heavens she finally played the role of elder sister.

Par Gaddi Nasheen aur meri kahani hamesha adhuri rahegi. Shayad hamari kismat ko bhi ye sath manzur nahi.

I walk out of her room with a raised head and a broken heart but my gait doesn't betray my emotions. It's stealthy and just what is needed of Mallika-e-Khilb.

As I turn the hallway, the new bride Zaima joins me and falls into step with me.

"Salam Summi! Sab theek hai na? Tum savere savere Huda ke kamre se nikal rahi ho aur aise nikal rahi ho jaise koi ghayal sherni, jo palatvar karne ja rahi ho", she muses and cackles at her own joke. Where does she look like a newly wed?

Such a joker, my God!

"Zaima meri baat dhyan se suno. Mai Yale ja rahi hu do din me, teen mahine ka course hai psychology ka. Meri gair moujudgi me sari zimmedari tumhari rahegi jab tak mai nahi lout kar aati. Dhyan rahe zimmedari nibhane me koi kasar na rahe"

She gasps, squealing loudly," Matlab tujhe scholarship mil gayi? Kya baat hai jani!" She hugs me making me jump with her in circles.

I smile at her childishness. Who can say she is the choti begum of Khilb. Perhaps her childishness is what Khilb needs.

I hug her once more, before leaving the hallway. I enter my room to see Gaddi Nasheen is up and surprisingly he even bathed in my room. Yesterday, after that intense kiss he wrapped himself into me like a little baby and fell asleep.

Aur meri neend churali.

The rest of the night I spent in gawking at him. Actually, gawking and tracing his face. Memorizing, trying to freeze the time.

I step out of my stupor when he turns his front to me, in a pair of low hanging pyjamas. With one hand he is rubbing his wet hair and the other is used to support the phone against his ear while he talks.

He stares at me for a beat or two, then hangs up.

"Ja rahi ho" It's not a question but a statement.

I step forward, subconsciously.

His stare intensifies, "Saza hai. Meri ki maine kisi aur se mohabbat ki aur tumhari ki tumne mujhse Ishq kia"

I move one more step towards him.

His jaw clenches now, the hold on his phone tight enough for it to break apart with a little more force.

" Tadapna chahti ho kyunki tumhe lagta hai tumne galat insan ko dil diya", he reads me like a fucking Colleen Hoover novel. Too ordinary to understand yet too meaningful.

I take one final step, which lead me to stand on his toes, our chests now touching but still he makes no move.

His body is still, his eyes boring into mine like I have committed a sin when in fact he broke my heart.

My hands tremble, while I try to keep them beside my trunk and not grab him.

The intensity of his gaze reaches peak with his next words, " Talak ki guzarish nahi karogi?"

My body trembles slightly, even though I try to keep it still. My eyes begin to betray me, even though I trained them for months to face this moment.

" De dunga. Bas maang karo. Aur wada karta hu, tumhe dubara apni shakal is zindagi me nahi dikhaunga. Agar mujhe na dekhna tumhare dard ko thodi si bhi rahat de sakta hai, to qubol hai."

I can hear the thudding of heart against his chest, perhaps because I am physically that close to him.

Ya shayad tumhe khone ka dar hai.

Shayad.

Bada nasaaz dil hai inka, kal kisi aur ka aur aaj kisi aur ka.

Ya shayad ye dil sirf tumhara tha Summi. Sirf tumhara.

I open my mouth, managing to only whisper, " Mohabbat ki hai Gaddi Nasheen, nibhani to padegi!"

A sort of chuckle leaves his mouth, his eyes now hardening, morphing into anger, hatred.

Anger because I am not thinking about him.

Hatred because I didn't even let him ask for forgiveness.

He, in a surprising turn of events steps away from me. His eyes still boring into mine, but with hollowness now.

Rokenge bhi nahi? Itni bhi keemat nahi meri apki nazron me? Mujhe roken. Nahi jana mujhe apko chod kar. Mera hath thame. Aur kahe ki mai sirf apki hu, aur is baar ap bhi sirf mere rahenge.

"Beshak jao. Magar yaad rahe in do salon ke hamare rishte ko apne pairo tale rond kar ja rahi ho. Aur tumne haveli ki chaukhat paar ki to smajhunga tumhe mujse kabhi mohabbat thi hi nahi."

The finality of his tone makes me even more determined. If I ever loved you, I have to leave.

He reads me again, fully right. His lips morph into a broken smile, one that clenched my heart, and made me feel like shit.

"Azad ho tum aajse Suman Malik. Meri biwi hone ki har zimmedari se azad. Aur isi pal se mujse mohabbat karne ka koi haq nahi tumhe." With that, he leaves my room without ever looking back at me.

Once he is out of vicinity, I break down, my body turning into a heap of broken mess.

Mohabbat ki hai Fayaz Ahmed! Nibhani to padegi.