3 Years

56 - Again

I think this was the most last-minute chapter I've written for this book.

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It's been about a week since the children all met each other. After they arrived home, Ricky and Nia did all the stuff that they used to do in New York with Noah to make him feel better. The three of them accidentally fell asleep on the couch while a movie was playing, so Nini didn't hear from Ricky again until the next morning.

When he did text, he just explained that Noah had calmed down and was willing to see the twins again at some point if they felt the same. Of course, when Nini had suggested this to them, they jumped at the opportunity.

Jayden wasn't sure how to apologize; he and Lauren were always awkward around kids too many years younger than them except for Aidan and Madison but only because they've known them since they were born (literally, they met them a few days after their parents brought them home).

He was asking Lauren to help him; grand apologies weren't exactly his thing. He had already asked Nini, and she answered that Ricky said he shouldn't be scared of what happened (that obviously didn't make a difference).

Nini was on a phone call with Ricky just in her room (with the door open that she forgot to close) talking about when they could meet again. "Would you all want to come back here?"

"Uh, I've thought about that; you know, a place where the kids could go off and do something together, but that should probably wait until they're more comfortable with each other."

"Yeah. So when do you all want to come over?"

"Um, I don't know. Sooner probably than later. I'm scared Noah's just doing this because he feels pressured though, not because he's ok with it, so I don't really know."

"I get that. What's he doing now?"

"He's, uh, in the living room with Roni- uh, sorry, Nia. I'm still getting used to that," he chuckled nervously.

Nini grinned. "How does freedom feel?"

Ricky sighed with contentment. "It's amazing. I honestly forgot what it's like. I mean... I get to make my own choices for how I want to live. I don't... I don't have to fill the shoes of some profile; I am actually in control."

She smiled, fidgeting with her ring. The amount of passion in his voice for such simple parts of life broke her heart; these were things that she took advantage of every day while he had no power over what happened next. "It's a blessing, truly. Hey, that's the saying: you never know what you have until it's gone."

"Yeah, no kidding."

They were silent for a minute, and the worst part was that it was awkward. "So, um, when would you like to get together again?" Nini asked.

"Uh, I don't know. Let me go ask. Do you want to go ask the twins to make sure we're all on the same page?"

"Yeah, sure." They both left their phones on their beds and went into different parts of their houses. Ricky walked into the living room. Nia and Noah heard him coming, so they paused the TV and turned around.

"Hey, what'd she say?" Nia asked.

"We're working on it now." He sat down by Noah and threw an arm around him. "Noah, when again did you say you were ok going back to the Salazar-Roberts'?"

The boy shrugged. "I don't know. It doesn't matter."

"But it does, bubba," he insisted. "I want you to be comfortable with it and not feel rushed."

He glanced at his mother. "This is your call," she said. "It doesn't matter to us when you choose as long as you're ok with it."

Noah turned back to Ricky. "What did they say?"

"That's what I'm trying to work out. But I need your input first."

"I don't want to put it off."

"What does that mean you're leaning towards?"

"The weekend?"

That caught Ricky off guard a little; he wasn't expecting an answer to be so soon. "Sure, I think that will be fine." Noah nodded at him as he stood up, going back to the bedroom.

Meanwhile across town, Nini was going to each of her kids' rooms to ask. She knocked on Jayden's door first since it was the closest. When he let her in, Nini asked, "When were you ok with seeing Ricky and them again?"

"Whenever," he shrugged. "Soon though."

"No day in mind?"

"Nope."

"Ok then." And she shut his door back.

Nini then did the same thing with Lauren, knocking first of course. "Hey, when are you up for seeing Ricky and all of them again?"

"It doesn't matter."

These kids are no help. "Can you help me with a day though?"

"Uh... either the weekend or sometime next week," she suggested.

"Ok, thanks." Nini shut the door back and quietly sighed.

Ironically enough, they both picked up their phones at the same time, talking over each other. "Hey." They accidentally spooked the other person. "Sorry," they jinxed again.

"You go first," Nini said.

"Um, Noah said he was ok with the weekend."

"Odd, Lauren said the same thing. Well, she said either the weekend or next week."

"And Jayden?"

"Oh, he wasn't exactly that much help; he just said soon."

"Ok then. Does this weekend work for you?"

"Yeah."

He cleared his throat nervously. "See in a few days then, yeah?"

"Mhm. Bye, Ricky."

"Bye, Nini."

As Ricky ended the call, he began daydreaming again, imagining what his life might have been if he hadn't left or at least... come home on time.

He would have been able to raise the twins with Nini; she wouldn't have had to go through that by herself. He would have seen all their firsts: birthdays, words, steps, school days. He would have known them through their life, not just the stories.

That's where most (if not all) of the guilt comes from: not being there. It didn't matter to him how many times he apologized; to him, no number would ever be enough.

This whole situation only adds to his admiration for Nini; even after all this time, she is still letting him be in their lives. The secrets didn't change the fact that she still wanted her children's father in their lives.

She could have lied to him in order to protect them in some way, keep them from experiencing more pain. But she still told him... She wants him around, and that was hard for his mind to understand.

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Thank you for sitting through this crappy chapter.

Something I've noticed with all my stories is that whichever one has the most prewritten chapters, that's the one where the days feel like the longest in between and vice versa.

What I mean is that because I now have more chapters written in advance for Just for a Moment, then it feels like forever between Tuesdays. On the other hand, I don't have a lot for 3 Years, and Saturdays are just a blink of an eye between each other.