3 Years

9 - The Letters

Nini
*June 2028*
Numb. That's the only way to describe this feeling.

I felt numb. I couldn't feel anything. It was like my whole body was frozen in place.

"Nini?" I heard behind me. My legs refused to move. At some point, I go on autopilot and end up in my room. My brain isn't functioning, but I'm moving. I quietly shut the door and just sit on my bed, thinking over the letters I've just read.

"It can't be," I whisper to myself as tears fall fast.

*30 Minutes Earlier*
I was watching old Disney movies with Lauren and Jayden when the doorbell rang. "Mike, what are you doing here?" I say, moving out of the way so he could come in.

"Nini, it's bad. Like really bad."

"What is?" I ask, getting scared.

"This just came in." He hands me a piece of paper, and I go over to the lamp to read it.

January 3, 2028

Nini, my Freaky Math Girl,

So... I just found out I can send you letters. Bad timing, I know.

As you can probably tell by the date, this wasn't planned ahead. I don't know when this will reach you, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry because my team has just been asked to go on a mission that has a small chance of making it out. I'm sorry, and I'm crying so incredibly much while writing this. I know my date of return is July, but now I'm not sure that will happen.

I'm sorry for the pain I've most likely caused you for the last almost 3 years. I'm sorry for not being there. I wish I was, and all I want is to see your beautiful face again. I will try my fucking hardest to be home in seven months. I know no amount of songs and cheesy letters can make up for our lost time. I know there's no proper way to apologize. And I especially know that you deserve better. You deserve someone that will be there for you through it all. I'm sorry that couldn't be me. I'm afraid I might fail my number one mission: coming back to you. I'm sorry; I'm sorry I might be a failure.

~Love Ricky, your Freaky Callback Boy

I'm already in tears. He may not come back. There's a chance I won't see him again.

"It was addressed to me because he could only send mail to family. But there's also this." He hands me another piece of paper.

March 24, 2028

To Michael Bowen,

We regret to inform you of the passing of Richard Bowen on his most recent mission...

I can't even continue reading. I just read that part again and again and again and again. That's when something clicks that makes this all worse. Today is June 11, meaning Ricky's been gone for at least two and a half months already.

"Nini?" Mike said behind me. At some point my legs take steps, and I'm upstairs in my room on the edge of my bed.

"It can't be," I whisper as many, many tears fall. It was only one more month. He was so close to coming home. He was so close to meeting his children. Our children.

I go in my lockbox, pull out the flash drive from my 25th birthday, and begin rewatching the video while fiddling with the locket around my neck.

"Hey, Nini. As of recording, it's currently June 5, 2025. If my math is right, and we both know it rarely is, but I should be coming back in about five or six months from when you're watching this. I know I'll be extremely happy to see you, and I hope you are too. I'm sorry and hope we can make up for all the lost time. Even though I don't think anything I do can express how sorry I am for the pain I've probably caused you. But I want you to be happy. In a few days, I'm planning on asking you to promise me you'll find another to make you happy while I can't. When I come back, all I want is to see a smile on your face. All I want is to see that you're happy and enjoying yourself. I hope whoever you end up with will provide you with the life that I couldn't."