Only his Doll (Bucky Barnes×OC)

Chapter 25: Burning Memories

How are ya doing? I'm quite fine right now, and I hope y'all are too.
If it is hard, remember that better days WILL come. My DMs are always open at any time of the day.

Here's the chapter!

Word count: 1008

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"Hey, mom. How are you doing? Oh, God. I,-I-I can't do this!" Leaning into his warm chest I sobbed, my eyes turned towards her grave. Letters were white, and stone was some lighter grey.  I leaned down, gently placing a bouquet of white roses.

Marline (James) Fiaz
1975-2020
No family or friends

I didn't love her. I never did. I don't remember my childhood, times that were apparently supposed to be good, were ruined to me a long time ago. Pink bikes, unicorns, fancy hairclips didn't live long enough to for me to have it. My childhood was dark, sadistic. I knew she tried making it better, spending time with me, but again not enough. I don't remember many things from the place my father put me while he trained me. I don't want to remember. And what I remember, still haunts me, either in my dreams or in my life.

The graveyard was empty, and rain was pouring like there was no tomorrow. James and I stood under a black umbrella. He held me tightly, not letting me go, reassuring me that he was there for me. And I appreciated it. Natasha was always there for me, but having someone else who loved me the same...maybe even more, was amazing. Another thunder hit near, and I got a bit startled.

I never knew how it was to have parents, but what I did know was how it is not to have them.
All these kids that got nice stuff, education, love, fancy stories read before going to bed had no idea.

I never got any of that.
The nights I remember from the place, are usually the ones which I cried the most. Left in a dark room, covered in bruises, while nobody cared for how I was. Years after, when I had finally escaped, I found the place my mom was staying. Divorced, a rich neighbourhood, fancy cars, food and clothes, she sure as hell was living her best life.

She didn't recognise me, even denied having a daughter. When I finally explained to her who I was, she was left in tears. Now, you would think this is the part where we hug and talk about how we missed each other. But no, after I was done talking she whimpered, yelled and screamed at me to get out of her house and leave her alone. Far away from her and her life. Now it was my turn to cry. I didn't beg her to talk to me, hear me out, make it work, I just left.

Not even two months after that, I met Natasha, on a rather weirder way than you would think. I rather not talk about how I got drunk and we fucked.

"The storm is getting worse, I think we should go," James whispered in my ear, slowly whipping tears that had run over my cheeks. I simply nodded in response, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. I turned around looking at her gravestone with a bit of sympathy left inside me as I brushed my cheeks away. "I'm sorry doll." James whispered under his breath, and instant regret shot through me. "Don't be. I'm not crying because she's dead. I'm crying because I will never experience childhood or parental love. I didn't love her. Fuck I didn't even know her name was Marline." I whimpered and he held me closer, before we slowly disappeared from the graveyard.

I was getting better. My wound is almost gone, replaced with a living scar. James and I grew pretty closer. Asking questions about each other, that were more than uncommon. I'm not sure why, but everything about him felt so warm, positive... comforting. The drive home was long, but I slept through most of it.

I walked up the stairs, tired as fuck, slowly walking to my room. James? room was just across the hall and as I saw him approach I came closer. " Do you know where Natasha and Steve are? I haven't seen them in a while." Watching him smile and step inside his bedroom, I followed behind him. "Natasha went to Australia, I thought you knew. On the other side, Steve went to Brooklyn to pick up his sister, Alexandra from their parents house. I think you should remember her." He unbuttoned his shirt throwing it in the nearest corner before stepping out of his trousers. And when I tell you that in front of me was standing sex god I mean it. His muscles flexed at his every move, perfectly toned abs and tattoos beautifully marking his skin, while his boxers played dangerously low showing his v line. It wasn't my first time seeing him almost completely naked, but every time I see him, it is like it's the first time and he gets better and better every time. I just imagine running my fingers over his harsh inked flesh, sucking and biting on it to mark every inch of him. I almost moaned at the thought. Almost.                 
"Something interesting that you're seeing?" He asked me with a devilish smirk he had on his face. I knew that he knows so I just smiled and shook my head. He dived into the bed before gently motioning with his head for me to come "Come here, I promise I won't bite. Yet." He said slightly curving in his lips, forming a small meaning full look. I took off my jacket jumping right on top of him, and I could hear him groan but laugh at the same time. I haven't heard him laugh since ever, and it killed me from inside. Snuggling his head in the crook of my neck  I relaxed under his touch and I could feel him relax too.