M.A.D

One

Brie Jones

I hadn't even noticed how much I sleep until my boyfriend brought it up. I apparently shouldn't sleep for thirteen hours straight without so much as twitching in my dreams. I just thought it was normal when you're an adult because of how stressful and busy you are, people sleep to recharge, so why was it an issue. If it wasn't for Chad reminding me every chance he got, I most likely would think nothing of it.

Today was one of those mornings where I once again slept through my phone alarms. 'Brie! Brie wake up will you! I can't be assed doing this every fucking morning. It's always the same. You sleep in all morning and wait for me to drag you out of bed. Do you know how sloppy that makes you look?'

Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I can just about make out chads silhouette standing at the bottom of our bed.

Along with his usual work clothes that he came round in last night, Chad is wearing his signature frown slapped on his face. If he's not careful in a stiff breeze, that face will stick.
'Are you even listening to what I'm saying Brie?' I've not answered, shit.

'Sorry, what?' I don't try to be ignorant, I'm actually a nice person, well that's what I think anyway. Sometimes I just-

'I said! Get the hell up, your alarm has been non stop going off and you are going to be late for work! Fuck sake, I'm not your fuckin' maid. That's your job remember!'

Wow, low blow dick! Chad is fully aware of my living conditions and situation at the minute, yet as soon as he gets upset even a little, he just has to bring up an insecurity of mine. I'd like to think of myself as a kind person that doesn't attack people for their mental health or things they can't control; living with memory loss, anxiety and depression is a pretty big fucking eye opener on the topic of hidden disabilities.

Coming around more, I look over to my phone charging on the bedside and stop the alarm from drilling into my ears. 'Ok I'm up! Happy? Jeez, could have shat in my brew and it would have been a nicer good morning!'

I didn't get the answer I was hoping, of course I didn't because he's already made me feel like shit, his work here is done. A few hefty stomps to make his point, all I get is a 'whatever, just stop being a lazy bitch.' That's then followed by the sound of my poor door hanging on its hinges, slamming shut behind him.

He's right tho, I am being lazy and I am going to be late for work. Is it this hard for other people to wake up in the morning? Chad seems to manage fine, well whatever that little performance was anyway.

'Come on Brie, game face! You can do this, just like yesterday and the day before that.' My doctors have advised me to make lists, not that they have ever helped me growing up, but what other options do I have. So, every morning I follow my list that I keep on my fridge. I reluctantly drag my shell of a body out of bed and into the kitchen.

'Oh hi Mumford! Who's a cutie-pie? You! You know it as well, ok ok I'll feed you now!' I don't think I've ever known a cat this food crazy, I mean I know when they're kittens they're food obsessed, but Mumford hasn't really grown out of it. 'Here you go then- No don't inhale it dumb ass!' I've not even fully placed the bowl on the ground before he's scrambling to get at it, I really need to invest in one of those control feeding bowls.

Looking at the neon green clock on my microwave, I severely underestimated Chads 'you're going to be late' bullshit this morning. Work starts at nine am and it's already eight thirty, a notification dings up on my phone reminding me I have to pick up my prescription later today. If I forget it again, I think they are going to refuse me collecting from there anymore.

Saying a quick good bye to Mumford and running out the door, probably forgetting a lot of stuff, but that's just my life in a nutshell, constantly forgetting something. As I don't drive, I'm limited to either walking, biking or taking the bus into work. Again, I don't try to be difficult, but having to fight with my own brain about getting on a bus is just too much hard work. First off, I struggle to remember bus routes and times ect, then to sprinkle a little bit more 'fuck you' on top, my anxiety will not allow me the honour of getting on the bus alone. Worrying when I'm supposed to get off, what if someone sits next to me and starts asking personal questions, I'm not prepared for that.

So, clipping my phone into the fancy new holder I bought not long ago, I unchain my bike from the pole outside my house and peddle as fast as my legs can go. Music. Music is most likely my best friend. To be able to hit play on any song you want and have it playing through your headphones in seconds, blowing away all the negative thoughts eating away at your will to carry on with your day, until you're simply floating to the rhythm of your favourite song.

It doesn't take long before I'm riding to the back door entrance of my job, slamming the door open, almost landing face first on the floor. '8:58am Brie, you're cutting it short again. I love ya, but you need to be waking up a little more early to make it in on time ok?' 

Ash, my boss has always been lenient with me and he's a saint for doing so. I can tell by how he's rushing around the halls that were busier than normal today, I know I shouldn't dwell on it because it only effects my effort and performance working, but my stupid brain loves to sabotage me at any given moment, and I've just hand delivered this on a silver bloody plater.

'I'm so sorry Ash, I'll be in early tomorrow I promise!' I do my best puppy dog eyes in hopes he goes easy on me. Unable to deny my charm, or sparkle as I sometimes like to call it, he waves me off with a smile and rushes out to the staff room.

The rest of my day was same old, cleaning the building we were hired for this week. The way my job works is each week we clean somewhere new. It's a little hard for me to remember all the different buildings and locations, but on every first day, Ash drives me to and from work, that way it's easier for me to map my rout and remember where it is. Ash really took a risk hiring me, employers want quick, reliable workers that they know will turn up on time be efficient, basically the opposite of me.
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The day is coming to an end, it's now 5:30pm and I'm exhausted. All I want to do it go home, order take out and snuggle up with Mumford, oh and I guess Chad as well if he even can be bothered with me. I just hope he's in a better mood now than this morning. I don't think my brain can take much more today.

As I'm riding home, my phone once again sings with a notification, 'shit! I completely forgot to pick up my pills.' Exhausted, hungry and just not in the mood, I turn my bike around and head straight to the pharmacy. I just want to sleep.
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Hey it's E, this story is going to be a great big mix of all my problems mushed together in poor Bries body. I've started off slow with explaining her situation but there's plenty more shit to come, trust me.

If you're reading please react and give me a comment on how you're feeling about the story so far. Love ya, E x