M.A.D

Three

At last. Home. My semi-safe haven. The place that should be your 'go-to' spot when you need to unwind and relax. Pushing the door open, I instantly notice the signature smell of whiskey hitting me in the face. Not again. Today has taken everything out of me, I don't know if I can even make it to bed if Chad has been drinking and let himself in. Doing what I always do on nights like this, I take off my coat and boots, put them away as quietly as I can and take myself up the stairs to the bathroom. If I'm lucky, Chad will be asleep on the sofa with the tv on in the background and will stay there till morning.

Baths are supposed to be calming and therapeutic aren't they? That's what the doctors advise when you're feeling down, but I always end up laughing in their faces when they bring it up, who the fuck tells a depressed person to take a bath? Do they provide the toaster as a bonus bath bomb?
I guess today is that bad, I'll take anything to relax me, even if that means falling asleep in a tub of water. And no, I would never take my own life. I could never do that to my family or Mumford, the fat git would probably break the door down to eat me as a last resort.

Sitting in my bath of scolding hot water, I let the tap run, unplugging the drain every few minutes to not let it over flow. Chad must know I'm home by now, maybe he's took my hint and is avoiding me.

Finally alone, the weight of today hits me like a truck. I didn't expect to burst into tears. I'm tired of being sad. I'm so fucking exhausted, how come Chad only gets moody? I never see him break down like I do. Trying to talk to him about my trauma is a failure from the start. I know people deal with grief in their own way, but I seem to be carrying both of ours.

Days like today require my back up team. The two people in this whole shitty world that some how pull me from my shit show of a life and making it seem semi- decent. I grab a towel to dry my hands and pick up my phone, opening my group chat ' The Three Musketeers' and pressing call.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Fuck, they must be busy. Hang up Brie, you'll only be burdening them. Im about to end the call when Robin answers.
'Brie? Hello? You still there?' I don't know if he realises how happy I am he answered.

'Hey Rob! How are you?' I'm sure whenever Robin or Callum get a call from me they instantly think the worst. We're all similar in that way, but their reason is a lot more morbid than mine. I don't like worrying my family, after my mum and dad out right said 'they don't want to be constantly worrying about me at their age' and I should let them enjoy their retirement in piece, let's just say I took that to heart and definitely won't be forgetting that anytime soon.

Some rustling is coming through the other end of the line and I'm gonna guess Rob is still in work. 'Hey Rob, sorry. If you're busy I can call back later?' Again, more rustling and finally he replies.
'No don't be daft, I'm heading home in a minute, just finishing up, fire away. Everything..... ok?'

Huh, that question. It's more of a joke when you ask a depressed person if they're ok because we're never ok, just, here.
I clear my throat that's suddenly closed up, pushing the tears out of me. Not wanting to answer the question out right, I instead choose to tell him about my day and see if he picks up on how fucked I really feel. He's good at that.

'Erm well, today has been.... Hard.' I pause for a moment to wait and see if he says anything, but he doesn't, all he does is hum to show me that he's listening.
'It started off shit with me running late for work and Chad got angry with me for sleeping in. Then while I was at work, Ash busted me for running late.' Cutting in Rob, speaks his mind.

'Brie, for one, Ash was definitely not mad at you. He understands what you've going through and he definitely wouldn't have been mad, probably only mentioned it because others were around, he loves you like a sister, I've seen it. And second, Chad can suck a dick! I'm sorry, I know he's your boyfriend, but he treats you like shit babes and you know it. You're just to much of a nice person to bring it up.' Here we go, I should never have mentioned Chad to him. Both of my brothers hate him with a passion and they make it crystal clear the second his name is brought up. I mean, Chad doesn't help himself tho, he refuses to spend time with my family because their apparently 'to full on' whatever that means.

Not wanting to spend my few relaxing minutes talking about Chad, I quickly change the topic. 'Hey, so I was thinking. Tomorrow night, how about me, you and Callum hang out? It feels like ages since we all got together.' God I hope he's free, I know for sure Chad is going out with his friends and I will not be invited, he says 'I bring the mood down' when I'm around and I don't want to sit in the house with only Mumford and my mind to keep me company. Silence. Once again my mind is in that grey space, waiting for him to say he's busy or has better things to do.

'Yeah that sounds perfect actually, we can have a family party, no outsiders allowed! Music and beer sound good?' I love Rob. Just before this call, I could feel that dark cloud creeping over my head, the one that returns every night to make me feel like shit, but as always, Rob knows exactly what to say to cheer me up.

'Great, I'm going to hand up now so you can't change your mind on me.' I hear him laugh from the other end.
'Alright then, bugger off. Oh I'll ring Callum and let him know the plan and I'll text you tomorrow and remind you. Love you sissy.' I just get to say my goodbyes before he hangs up the phone, leaving me with the dial tone playing through the speakers.
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So, brothers ay. I'm so excited to play around with these characters and write about the brothers and interacting with Chad. Harry will be back soon don't worry. Love to all, and sending hugs 💓 E