M.A.D

Twenty four

Harry's POV

'Mate, I know you want to see her and make sure she's ok but that's not what she wants right now. I'm sorry..... if it were up to me you wouldn't leave her side but it's what she wants.' It's now day four that I've turned up to Callum's house, doing everything I can to see Brie.

If I could just say how much she means to me to her face, how much she's made my life better in the short time I've known her, it could make a difference.

'Look mate, go distract yourself for a few hours, go to the kennels, go get a coffee and I'll ring you later today, maybe you can come round then yeah?'

Nothing sounds enough to be able to distract me for that long. No job or task is big enough to stop me from thinking of her. Pinching my eyes with my pointer and thumb, I let out a long breath. 'I- I just want to be with her you know, I wanna give her a hug and make sure nothing else can hurt her.' I know he knows what I mean.

'I know mate. And you will be able to ... soon. Just not yet ok?' He pats his hand on my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

~

'Hey Harry! Long time no see. Where've you been?!' Stepping into the kennels, I'm soaking wet. I did attempt to keep dry. I changed into some new jeans, a top and one of my favourite cardigans that my mum made me one year, it's all mix-matched colours and very cozy. I'm also wearing a big water proof coat but my shoes are probably now ruined.

'Hey.... Cole. Eh busy. Sorry, can't talk, gotta sort some paper work and leave asap.' Cole's bright goofy smile falls to a frown quickly. I don't want to be a dick but I don't want to be here any longer than I need to.

Making my way through the kennels, I head towards my office in the back room. Stepping inside I feel a chill travel up my spine. It feels like ages since I've been in here, no one other than me is allowed in apart from the cleaners but they've clearly not been in here in a while.

Now I'm alone, I didn't realise how tense I've been holding my my body. Letting out a long needed sigh and letting my shoulders hunch forward, I soon start to feel the effects of not sleeping for however many days it's been.

I don't waste any time, starting with my emails and replying to everyone needed and then checking my stock and inventory. Luckily, everything seems to be running smoothly still so I log back out of everything and lock up my office.

'Harry!' Before I could stop myself, my eyes were rolling to the back of head and a deep crease was forming on my forehead. I try to tell myself that Coke is just a kid and he's trying to be nice and check up on me but that doesn't stop me from what I do next.

Taking long strides in the opposite direction that Cole is making his way towards me, I ignore his constant calls to get my attention. Just when I think he's gonna take the hint and leave me alone, he catches up to me and try's to turn me around by my shoulder.

'Can't you see I don't want to fucking talk right now Cole!' I feel awful. He's only being friendly.
A flash of hurt hits his face and everything in me wants to house apocalypse and explain everything and why I'm being like this but I don't have time. I need to get back to Brie and be with her.

'Ok mate. We'll catch up.... Soon then.' His eyes look everywhere other than my face and before I have a chance to say I'm sorry, he's gone.

~
I know Callum said he might ring me later if Brie is up to see me, but I'm going crazy waiting for a call or a text that just isn't going to come. I've done all my errands and even done a food shop to pass the time, yet I'm still waiting. It's now six pm, I've lost all my appetite and the thought of doing anything is exhausting.

My phone hasn't left my pocket or my hand and I've checked multiple times it's not on silent and that I've had any missed called or texts I may have missed.

With everything that's happened with Brie in that past twenty four hours, I can't help but think of Jane. I've been mentally scolding myself for it tho, who do I think I am thinking of my ex wife while I should be worrying about Brie?

A part of me is scared to think, what if what I told Brie about my ex wife made her do what she did. What if I pushed her over the edge without even realising. She's so fragile and hurt, I fear I'm the reason she did what she did.

Now back home, I've turned on the tv, got out a book and am scrolling through my phone. I've done everything I can to distract myself when finally, Bries name starts to flash on my screen with the ring tone I set for her, loving is easy by Rex orange. Loving her really is easy.

With my nerves getting the better of me, my phone fumbles around in my hand as I accept the call. 'Shit shit, BRIE? Are you there?' The line is quiet, to quite. The kind of quiet that makes you realise something bad is about to be heard and everything in me is telling me to hang up so I don't have to hear bad news.

But I would never do that to Brie. Never.

'Brie? Are you there honey?' I don't want to push her if she needs a minute to gather her thoughts, but I just can't help it. I need to hear her sweet voice, the way she says my name like she means it. We don't usually talk on the phone for memory reasons so I know somethings wrong, I just need her to tell me.

An unbearable minute goes by where she's so quiet I thought she may not even have meant to call but then, saving me, she speaks in barely a whisper.

'Harry I- eh' she clears her throat like her words were getting lodged half way out, and it pains me so much to hear it from her. She can tell me anything, I'll never judge.

'Harry. I'm sorry. I've- I' she lets out a long sigh as if this is hurting her to say. This feels like she's wrote down a script of what she wants to say and is filling it word for word. My hearts going wild, thumping against my chest and everything in me wants to just beg her to get it out already.

'Harry, I'm sorry. I've made the decision that I just can't do this any more. Please know that this is not your fault and that I'- she lets slip a sharp sob almost like she didn't know it was going to happen.

From answering the phone I've been pacing back and to around my house and ended up in the bathroom. Her words slicing my heart in two like it's made of paper and my world stopped spinning. My fear of loosing her has come to life and i didn't expect to feel so shattered.

'Brie please- don't. I can be better. Things will be ok, you'll see. I'll make more time for us and we can do more things.' Running out of ideas on how I can change her mind, it's no use. Just hearing her sobs through the phone, it's clear she's not going to reconsider.

Our story was only just begging.

'I should never have woken up Harry. You don't deserve my baggage. I'm sorry, take care of yourself, bye.' Before I could deny her statement she hung up the phone leaving me barefoot in my bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. With my phone still held up tightly to my ear, it starts to crack and break under my grip letting all my anger and pain out into it.

How could I let this happen.

My hearts beating