M.A.D

Seven

I have work again today. Last night felt like it was never going to end. For once, I've actually woken up at an appropriate time, well that's a lie. More so, I never went back to sleep and have been awake all night. But at least I'm going to be on time, right?

As much as I'd rather bury myself under my covers and order a McDonalds breakfast, I can't be late again. Ash can only make excuses for me for so long. So, I follow my morning routine by having a shower, brushing my teeth, drying my hair the best I can with my shitty hair dryer and getting dressed. Effort.

I don't like to eat in the mornings, I've read somewhere it's because I'm anxious and my stomach if going crazy. I guess that makes sense. Dressed and out the door at a disgustingly early hours of eight fifteen am, I have plenty of time to get to work for nine. Closing my front door behind me, I notice my rather snooty neighbour, frank I think his name is, peep through his window. He's very much against loud noises and disturbing house guests so he avoids Chad to the best of his ability. I give him a quick forced smile and head up the street. To saver the free time, I choose to walk to work today. But just because my brain woke me up earlier than normal, does not mean my body is in any way functioning at a normal speed.

Phone in one hand and hot chocolate in the other, I suddenly remember I never messaged Harry back last night. To tired and consumed by Chad, messaging him back was the least on my worries. I've tried not to think about what Harry wants to ask me. What if he wants to know about my memory, or worse, what if he wants to talk about Chad!

Directly opposite my work headquarters is a single bench that can fit two people at a time. With plenty of time to spare, I take out my phone and click 'Harriet' in my contacts. But what should I say? Nothing could possibly embarrass me more that what happened last night. I do a quick check around me to be sure no one Chad knows is walking by, they'd have a field day running to tell Chad I've made a new friend called 'Harriet'.

I choose to text him over calling. It's early, he might not even be awake. I don't know his sleeping schedule. It's definitely nothing to do with the fact I prefer texting over calls because it's easier to go back and remember what we last talk about....

To Harriet: So, H. What is it you're dying to know about me?

Ive never done anything like this before. Talking to another man behind Chads back. I don't know where I'm going or getting myself into with this. I don't want to admit I find Harry attractive when I'm seeing someone else. That's not fair on Chad. There's just something about him that makes me want to know more. He sparks that feeling deep within me that I used to feel around Chad when we first met.

Whether we talk this once and never see each other again or become close friends, I'll take what I can get. It's a weird feeling, wanting someone knew in my life. Normally I'm pushing people away. Getting close with people means trusting each other with personal information. It's just my personal information is a lot heavier than most 23 year olds. My secrets aren't about which friend I secretly hate or that I can't swim, they're scary and sad. Times in the past, when I've told ex-friends about them, they've told me 'they can't be bothered dealing with my emotional baggage.' And I don't blame them, I am a mess and a burden. Why should they have to deal with me. That's why now, my only friends are Mumford and maybe Ash, if he even counts. He's kinda forced to spend time with me.

To my surprise, my phone dings in my hand and when I see the name 'Harriet' in a bubble, I have to tell myself to calm down. Friends remember. I've still got plenty of time before I have to head inside, so what the heck.

He's probably just going to say he's busy at the minute. He'll say he can't talk right now and that will be the end of it. He probably only gave me his number so he can feel like he helped me the other day with Chad. Made as well get it over with. Unlocking my phone and clicking the bubble, I can feel the sick nerves coming. This is both horrible and I guess exciting as well?