Forever and Always

Chapter 15

Some notes:

(y/e/c) = your eye color

(y/f/s) = your favorite song

(s/c) = song creator

...

After about an hour, we were back home. We ended up going to a little restaurant not too far our apartment building. I walked in the front door after Y/n and May and made my way over to where Y/n was sitting. Here goes nothing.

"Can I talk to you?" I whispered into her ear.

She furrowed her eyebrows before nodding. She stood up from the chair she was sitting in and walked into my room. I followed closely behind.

"Night, May." I said with a smile.

"Goodnight, Pete. Goodnight, Y/n." May responded as Y/n and I walked into my room.

I closed the door behind me and Y/n sat down on the bottom bunk of my bed. I stood a few steps away from my door, trying to figure out how to start this conversation. I didn't want her to think that I was mad, I wasn't. I just can't stand her getting hurt, especially on my watch.

"What did you want to talk about?" She asked, interupting my wandering mind.

"I uhh I..." I hesitated, the words not wanting to form in my mouth.

"Peter?"

"Are you harming yourself?"

"What?" She asked, her facial expression dropping.

"I saw the cuts on your arms, Y/n." I blurted.

She looked down and played with the sleeves of her shirt, not responding.

"Are you cutting yourself, Y/n?" I asked again.

"Yes." She muttered, her voice cracking as tears filled her eyes and she continued to look down at her hands.

Tears started to form in my eyes but I pushed them back before they could fall.

"Why didn't you talk to me instead?"

"I-I didn't want to bother you m-more than I already am."

"You are not bothering me, Y/n. You could have talked to me." I assured. 

There was silence for a few minutes. Tears streamed down both of our faces as we thought of what to say.

"How many times did you do it?" I broke the silence.

"Only twice." She breathed out, still not looking up at me to meet my gaze.

"When?"

"I had a nightmare about a w-week ago...it caused a panic attack...I-I didn't want to wake you up and I couldn't b-breathe...There was an exacto knife sitting on your desk so I-I took it into the bathroom. It was the only thing that made me feel instant release...S-So, I shut the door behind me and pulled my sleeves up, digging and dragging the blade into my skin, until I bled and had conformation that I-I could actually feel something."

She choked out a sob and wiped her eyes with her sleeves.

"Then a few days ago, the nightmare returned and once again, I didn't want to bother you by waking you up. So I did it again...I'm sorry, Peter." She sobbed again, not being able to speak anymore.

I brushed off my tears and walked over to her, kneeling down in front of her and making her look at me.

"We'll get through this together. Okay?" I looked into her (y/e/c) eyes, which were brighter in color since she was crying.

She nodded slightly.

"Promise me you'll come to me before doing this again."

She hesitantly nodded again and looked down.

"Y/n, promise me." I restated, making her look at me again.

"I promise." She choked out as a few more tears flowed out from her eyes and slid down her face, falling onto her hands which were resting in her lap.

I wiped the rest of her tears away with my thumb and she flung her arms around my neck and shoulders tightly, pressing her face into my shirt as I stroked her hair and rubbed circles onto her back. A few tears fell from my eyes while I held her in my arms.

I stood up and laid down on the bed before she wrapped her arms back around me and laid with her body on top of mine, her head nestling into the crook of my neck as she played with my hair and did her best to silently cry. A few sobs escaped her lips, however. She curled up into a ball on top of me as I stroked her hair.

It was a while before she was able to calm down and was able to speak again. She removed her face from my neck and rested the side of her head on my shoulder before saying anything.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"For what?" I asked.

"For caring."

"You don't have to thank me for that." I smiled softly.

She returned the smile and pecked my cheek. I tried my best to hide the blush that made its way onto my face as she tucked her head back into my neck, resting one of her hands on my chest, gripping my shirt slightly, and the other in my hair, running her fingers through it.

I pulled out my phone and popped in one of my earbuds, handing the other to Y/n. She removed her hand from my chest and grabbed the earbud, pushing it into her ear before replacing her hand back on my chest. I scrolled through my phone's playlist and Y/n pointed to a song she wanted. It was (y/f/s) by (s/c).

After a few minutes, her warm breath slowed against my neck and her body sank into mine. I looked down at her. She was asleep; her eyes loosely closed and the corners of her mouth turned slightly upward, forming a small smile. I placed a soft kiss on her forehead and rested my cheek on the top of her head before going to sleep myself.

Maybe one of these days I would actually tell her how I felt.