No Ordinary Love |KTH|

Wants and Needs

We are every color in the trees, my friends and I. We are the gold and reds that carpet the grass. In every breath, the autumn is in us too, this feeling of nature flowing back and forth. It is a time for the dancing of spirits as we walk through the cozy hearth that is the park, that energizing earthiness that somehow anchors yet propels.

After our finals were over and we all got our final grades, we all celebrated. Mina wept because she didn't know if she truly was going to pass. Jimin and Hoseok went around the school screaming to the top of their lungs in triumph and Namjoon was as cool as ice, knowing his smart ass passed without needing to study. But the one thing they all did, was called back home.

I got to hear their parents and family members tell them how proud they were and I smiled bitterly. I have no true contact with my parents, not that I'm begging either way. The whole idea of going to college was to get as far away as I can without needing a reason why. For all they know I have dropped off the face of the earth, and they're not bothered to come looking. We decided to have a picnic, one last time before everyone goes back home for the holidays which I'm dreading.

The holidays have always been a touching part of my life growing up. I had it all, the gifts, the Christmas spirit, the family traditions. But the one thing that didn't come with any of this was innocence. My innocence lays buried somewhere in the snow of my backyard. Pressed against the frigid cold that would slap me across the face when the wind became unkind. I look at my friends talking amongst themselves and their smiles are real, genuine. They have something to look forward to when they go home. I, on the other hand, do not.

"Joon you never told us what you've been working on since school started back. I'm fucking surprised you kept this secret this long." Hobi brings up while the sun blankets over his tanned skin, kissing his dark eyes and turning them syrupy. Namjoon bit on a smile and his dimples pressed into his cheeks. He looks likes he's about to burst at any given minute.

"I've been working on signing a record deal." We all gasped. Namjoon sits there looking bashful with his cheeks a nice cherry color.

"You've been what!?" I say with my jaw to the floor. He looks so happy that it's almost too cute to bear witness.

He nods. "Yeah, remember back in high school when I use to write songs in my journal as a pastime? Well during college I kinda started taking things to the next level, like next next level." He emphasizes stacking his hands on top of another.

"I would rap at these underground clubs and one day I got spotted by a producer and he gave me his business card to lay down a track in the studio the next morning. So I went there, let the mic become my bitch and he really liked me."

"So who's the producer?" Jin asks.

Namjoon then looks at me. "AGUST D."

I take the moment to really grab hold of the words he's saying. His last one felt like a punch in the gut. But it explains the weird looks they were exchanging at the beginning of the party and later on actually began talking to each other. I would've never known.

"So you're going to be under his label?" I peer up and Namjoon gives this slight nod with a shrug of the shoulders.

"I wanna graduate first. My parents have sacrificed so much for me to get here so I'm not gonna drop out now. Besides wouldn't it be lit as fuck to be a lawyer and rapper, my clients may look like Jay Z or Nas." Namjoon's smile could've reached his ears if his eyes weren't preventing them. He casts his gaze out in the distance while daydreaming of such a feat. I was proud of him, giggling as Sky waved a hand in front of his face stirring him back to reality.