Grief Of The Arts

GOTA: 30

It's been a month. Malapit na finals. Malapit ng birthday ni Jace. Malapit na rin kaming mag one year.

Ang bilis? Ganoon ba talaga kapag kasama mo 'yung taong mahal mo? Sobrang bilis ng panahon. Parang noong nakaraan lang, nagtatanong palang sa'kin sila Jace kung nasaan ang Dean's Office.

And then now, malapit na kami mag one year! We have a lot of arguments in life. Pero we not let sleep each other ng galit, gusto namin, inaayos agad.

Minsan nga, kahit ako yung may kasalanan, siya pa rin 'yung nagso-sorry. And he will always say,

"I love you, mahal na mahal kita kaya kahit anong mangyari, kahit hindi ko kasalanan, I will still say sorry to you." He said before kissing my forehead.

We fight. About the girl he was with. Nakakainis naman kasi! Kailangan ba talagang hahawak sa bewang? Need ba 'yon? Tang ina kung need, gagawin ko 'din sa jowa niya. Para fair. But I don't want to be like her so, no.

"Sorry din. Naging insensitive ako" I said while playing with my hands.

Guilty. I feel guilty.

"I get it okay? Next time tell me kung kanino ka nagse-selos. Para alam ko kung kanino ako lalayo. Huh?" He said.

"Yes, thank you love." I said while smiling cutely infront of him.

"For what? Hmm?" He asked.

"Sa pagintindi mo sa kin." I respond.

"Oh? Of course, alam ko naman noong una na natatakot kang sumugal sa ating dalawa. Because you've never been in a relationship before. Marami kang trust issues sa mga lalaki, takot kang magtiwala. Takot kang makasakit. Takot kang masaktan. Diba? Alam ko 'yon lahat. Kasi bago ako pumasok sa buhay mo, I look for the consequences. Lahat inalam ko kasi gusto ko, alam ko lahat sayo, para alam ko rin 'yung gagawin ko." Mahabang sabi niya.

"Alam ko rin na natakot kang bigyan ako ng second chance dahil sa nangyari dati. Pero I will and always promise, hindi na ulit. I date to marry Shine." He added. Making me cry. "What the fuck? Why are you crying love?" Tanong niya habang inaalo ako.

"Nothing. Tears of joy yan." Saad ko at tumawa.

"Hmm. Basta kapag may problema tayo, ikaw, sabihin mo lahat. Makikinig ako love. Mhmm?" He said.

Sunod sunod akong tumango.

"I am so lucky to have you Jace." I said in the middle of crying.

"No, I am the one who's lucky to get you." He said before kissing my lips.

"I love you so much love." I said while cupping his face.

"I love you more love." He said then kissed me again.

"GET ready for finals. One week break, pumasok kayo para mag review. Dismiss." Sir Rush said.

Napabalik naman ako sa mundo ko! Ang tagal kong nag-isip.

"Hell week is waving." Lovie said when Sir walk out of the room.

"Random review na naman, pinagpala ka kung lalabas sa test nireview mo, kapag hindi, see you sa summer class." I said while eating the piece of burger that Jace gave me this morning before he go back to Manila.

Bakit ba kasi sa UP Diliman siya kung pwede namang dito na lang din sa Los Baños eh. Ang hirap kaya non! Sayang gas! Ito naman si Jace go lang basta raw makasama ako. Wait, pause, kinilig ako.