Shadow of Light (Uruk-Hai x She-Elf)

Gakhgalrut

She tried over the next few days to remain completely inconspicuous and practically in the shadows. Her mother was silently fuming for a time, but she rapidly recovered and continued trying to match you with either Cirlyn or other men of similar standards, though she seemed quite keen on him. Thankfully people did begin to ignore her, or at very least talk about her without staring. She just wanted to be forgotten by everyone in that room. The sad thing is that the only people she didn't want to forget her weren't there and would either be gone a long time or never come back.

She tried to control her mind and keep it from lingering on him, for fear people would realize something was off. That was the last thing she needed, so she bit her lip and held her peace. Cirlyn tried to talk to her and draw her out of her shell. She chattered with him now and again, but she couldn't help but feel like she was leading him on. As far as he was concerned, she seemed like an odd but pleasant young woman. It would never, under any circumstance even cross his mind the things she'd done. Well, saying it like that made it sound as if she'd murdered someone! She hadn't done that, but amongst her people her sins had to be equal. 

Concerning her mother, she had nothing to say. She obviously couldn't explain why, but she could never fill the familial role her mother wanted her in. She knew that other people in her situation might eventually move on and marry someone else, but she couldn't. Aside from the way she felt about him, it was clear that her taste in men bore no similarity to anything she would ever meet, certainly not in the city of Murkwood! So she could only keep disappointing her mother. Honestly she no longer really wanted to do anything big just to spite her mother. Maybe the occasional comment, but not like before. She simply couldn't help that she wasn't going to be a good heir.

Another day found her lying in bed. She buried her head under her pillow, not wanting to get up, and not wanting to answer the incessant tapping on her door. She was tired, and she was bored. She didn't really see a point to get up if all she had to do was pace her room, feed the guards outside her room, and go to those damn parties! She needed a hunt! But they would never let her out. With a groan, she finally rose from her bed, and approached the door. She must have looked as bad as she felt cause despite Dani having grown used to her opening the door by then, she looked slightly taken aback upon seeing her. 

"Good morning, my lady!" She chirped.

"Hey, Dani." she grumbled. Dani moved to the bed and began resetting it, all the while whistling a tune. At that moment, Elayin grew certain that it was a punishable crime to be that cheerful that early!

"Well, my lady, what would you like for breakfast? Bread and preserves? Or cheese? Maybe sausage? Oh! Eggs?" She inquired. Upon hearing the concept of food, Elayin's stomach did a back flip. She clapped a hand over her mouth and raced to the wash basin leaving Dani in a state of shocked confusion!

After what felt like an eon of hacking up various vital organs, mentally pleading mercy from every Valar in existence, and Dani twittering about desperate to help, her stomach abruptly settled, leaving her to feel the heavy breathed, sweating, miserable backlash. She sat down, massaging her now-pounding head. "I must send for the doctor, you're not well!" she exclaimed, her face riddled with worry.

"Wait, wait, Dani, don't..." she said, her voice hoarse. Dani stopped as she was about to exit, only to cast a confused expression on her.

"My Lady, you are ill!" she explained as if she didn't know.

"No, no, I've just... I dunno, my stomach's been dodgy for a while..." she said.

"That's even worse!! I'll get the doctor!" said Dani.

"No! I'm fine now... Dani," she said. "what month is it?" she asked.

"What? Um, February. Why?" questioned Dani. She rested her face in her hands.

"Dani, I need you to promise me that, for the time being, you won't call the doctor, or speak of this to anyone. Can you do that?" she asked. Dani looked confused and worried but nodded.

"But why?" she asked.

"I... I'll tell you later..." she said, "Can I have a moment?" Dani nodded and quickly excused herself leaving her in silence. Well, that would explain it then... No wonder she needed a new dress.

She supposed she should have known, or at least guessed. She had heard that Uruk Hai were bred of orcs and men, and as it was known that elves and men could blend blood, she should have at least been suspicious. But honestly, it never once crossed her mind. All the time she had spent with Ghashnaga, all she had considered was the two of them, she never considered the three of them... What would he have said? Would things have been the same? It didn't matter now. He would never know. Now it was her, alone. She would have to do this, alone. How could she have been so stupid!!

She stood and began pacing. What would she do? She knew nothing of children! This would change everything! Her mother would know and would want an explanation. Then a thought worse than all the others came to her mind. What would it look like? If it looked like her that was one thing, but if it looked like it's father! What would they do? She would be ostracized of course, but what would they do to the child?! Would they think it innocent or blame it for its breeding? She couldn't hide it, what could she do? She wasn't ready! She didn't know what to do!!

Her hands were shaking, her mind was racing, she fell back upon the floor as tears began to flood down her cheeks. "What do I do!!?" she yelled to no one and everyone at once. You damned idiot!! Look what you've done!! Ghash, damn it, I need you!! She broke into uncontrollable sobs, her knees pulled up to her chest. She didn't know how much of it was panic, stress, or the effects of the child, but she just cried. Of all those moments of loneliness, she'd never felt so alone then right then and there. He spoke of the world turning on them, well right then it felt like it. She felt like a lost child, but she wasn't. Not any more.

By the time she stopped crying she just laid there in the floor, silently staring into nothing. She was terrified. She was no mother, how could she act like one? What would she do? What could she do...