Psychology of Love (MYG 18+)

Epiphany

"Tell me about your last relationship." I rake my hand through my hair, pushing it back. Man, we are really getting into the nitty gritty now. "His name was Jin-" I get interrupted. "His name isn't important." I give my therapist a puzzled look. "Okay? Anyway, he would visit my old job frequently. Eventually we became friendly with each other. Soon after he asked for my number, and we started dating. He was really nice and patient. When we had been dating about a month he wanted to sleep together, and I wasn't ready for that. It scared me, so I dumped him."

Dr. Min's lips form a straight line. "You're afraid of intimacy. Did your mom not hug you a lot as a child?" I shook my head. "No, my family expresses love in other ways. We rarely hug or say we love each other." The psychiatrist closes his eyes and nods once. "Let's back track, just a bit. When was your first boyfriend?" I press my finger to my lips and look off into the distance, trying to remember. "I was a senior in high school, so I was 18."

"Some would consider that late to start dating." Dr. Min pointed out and I just shrugged. "Yeah, well I was ugly, so I can't help it." He sits back in his chair, crosses his legs, and gives me a disgruntled look. "That, that right there. I detest that." My eyes go wide, his tone is menacing. "No one is truly ugly. You might not be someone's cup of tea but to another you might be the most beautiful human they had ever seen. There isn't a single person alive that is cut and dry ugly. Don't let one person or a broken society call you something you simply are not."

I just blinked at him. Dr. Min was very serious. He popped off for a second there, must be a sensitive subject to him for some reason. "I'm sorry. I just assumed I was ugly since not many men hit on me." Dr. Min hums. "Men can be stupid. Don't form an opinion of yourself due to horny adolescent boys who only wanted to date the easy girls instead of the sweet ones." I chuckle to myself; he definitely had a point. All the slutty girls were the most popular in my school.

Dr. Min smooths his sleeve back and glances at his watch. I look at it as well, it looks very expensive. "Alright, I think that's it for the session." He stands quickly and then I follow. He digs in his suit pocket and hands me a business card with a number written on it. "This is my personal cell number. Please do not give it out. Call only if you're having a psychological emergency." I nod and take the small paper card from his hands. I glance at his hands; they were quite attractive. Very manly, large veiny hands. My thoughts get interrupted.

"I have another request before we meet again." I look up at him now. He looks amazing up this closely. His skin was as smooth as butter, not a wrinkle on his entire face. "If you find yourself having negative thoughts about yourself or are faced with a decision to make, I want you to think about yourself first. I want you to repeat the words; 'I'm the one I should love.' Get comfortable with this sentence, make it your new motto." Dr. Min places a hand on my shoulder and for the first time I see softness in his eyes.

I nod as I stare into the dark pools of mystery that are his eyes. "Okay." He walks me out of the room. I head for the elevator, and he travels across the hall and into another room. I tap the first-floor button and the elevator descends. I stop at the receptionist's desk again. "Good afternoon! When would you like to come back?" I smile at her, she sure was nice. The opposite of her boss. "Next Monday please." She looks puzzled as I hear her click around on her computer. "It looks like the only opening for Monday is at 6pm, you'll be the last patient of the day. Is that okay?" I nod and she types something in. "Alright, gotcha down. Have a wonderful day!"

Crawling into my car, I start it up instantly. I notice the time on my dashboard. Crap, the movers were going to be at Hoseok's, I mean our house soon! I put the car in drive and drove off to my new home.

My car was parked in the apartment garage, I walked briskly to the elevator and took it to Hoseok's floor. I run through the hallway, and I see a couple of guys shoving my bed frame into a door way. I wait patiently behind them as they shove it through and carry it to my room.

Hoseok runs up to me and hugs me, lifting me up and spinning me around. I can't help but giggle as I get a bit dizzy. "It's our first night as roommates! What should we do?!" The moving crew give us a weird look. "Whatever you want, roomie," I give Hobi a sweet smile. He finally sets me down and I'm wobbly from being spun around. I turn my blurry eyes to the doorway when I hear a familiar voice.

"Congrats!" Jimin had stepped through the open front door, he held up a bottle of champagne. Hobi and I giggle. "I didn't buy a house Jiminie, I just moved in with Hoseok." He smiles, his eyes disappearing. "I know, but never ignore a reason to drink!"

The moving crew walk up to Hoseok and I. "Alright, we are all done, we assembled the bed and dressers. Have a good night." We thank them and they walk out. Jimin sets the champagne down on the counter and runs up to me. He sweeps my legs with his arm and cradles me in his arms. "You have to be carried over the threshold!" He carries me outside of the apartment and then walks me back inside. I can't help but laugh like an idiot. He's so cute and silly.

I'm laughing so hard my head just falls into Jimin's chest. Once I stop chuckling, I look at him and he's staring at me. He has a straight face. We stare at each other for a moment, but Hobi speaks up. "You can put her down now Jimin." He nods and Jimin places me back down on my feet.

Clearing my throat, I pull my shirt down, making sure it wasn't riding up. Jimin was getting bolder and bolder these days. It was really starting to worry me. I wish I could see him the way he sees me, but I don't seem to. He's the perfect man, he really is. I wouldn't deserve him even if we ever did date. I value his friendship more than a fling, so for now I'll try to ignore him best I can.

Hoseok grabs the champagne and pops it. The sudden noise startles me. Loud noises always shake me. "Let's drink and play some cards!" Hobi yells and we all agree that sounds like a great idea.