Psychology of Love (MYG 18+)

So Far Away

**Trigger Warning**

I'm zoned out. I'm surrounded by darkness, painful, hurtful pitch black. I can faintly hear the door opening and someone approaches me. On their knees, taking my face in their hands. I can hear my name being called, but it sounds so far away. It sounds like it's coming from outside of a dream.

I'm in my room, I was drawing on my notebook, laying on my bed. I hear the front door slam shut. He's home. The pencil I was using to draw with snaps with the pressure I'm applying. My whole body begins to shake.

"Where the fuck is dinner you stupid bitch?!" I squeeze my eyes shut, tears form. I can hear my dad screaming at my mom.

"I come home from working all god damn day and you've done nothing as always! You're so worthless!"

"I was about to start-" I can hear a deep thump and my mom's voice is cut short.

My entire body is trembling, tremors causing my fingers to jerk around. My father bursts into my room, his eyes are pure black with rage. He smells like alcohol. I'm terrified, I jump off of my bed and cower into the corner of my room. I hold up my arms and hands in defense, quivering.

"Please, snap out of it!" I blink, finally regaining consciousness. I'm being held so tightly against someone's body; it feels differently than Hoseok's. This frame is tinier. "Please! Wake up!" I can hear the desperation coming through this deep voice. This voice sounds like it's about to break.

Stirring in these tight arms, I struggle to get free of them. Finally, they release me and I'm able to sit up on my own. I lock eyes with Dr. Min Yoongi. But he seems different, he looks scared. His eyes were wide in shock as he saw me sitting up. I've never seen this much emotion on his face before.

He grips onto my shoulders and gives me a light shake. "Are you okay?" I blink at him and nod, not being able to speak yet. He drops his head and lets out a deep sigh. Dr. Min releases his hands from my shoulders. "You were...you were in some sort of state, psychosis, I think. Your whole body was trembling so violently I had to hold you against me to calm you down." He sounds out of breath. I can't help but just stare at him. I'm groggy, like just waking up from a deep sleep.

Dr. Min Yoongi stands up quickly and goes to rummage through the cabinets in the kitchen. He finds a cup and pours some water into it from the faucet. He comes back to me and holds the cup up to my lips. I swallow the cool liquid.

"I'm going to write you a prescription for Alprazolam. I'll send it to your pharmacy on file in the morning." I blink at him still. I can hardly remember calling him but good thing I did. "Alprazolam?" Dr. Min nods. "Yes, Xanax. You don't have to take them daily, but next time you think you're about to have one of those episodes then take one." I nod.

I just look at him for a minute. He is in more casual attire; he still looks quite handsome. Seeing emotion on his face was a new thing for me. I blush as I remember being held so closely to his body. I remember the warmth of his skinny frame and the heavenly scent of his cologne.

"Thank you for saving me." I whisper, not wanting to truly be heard. Dr. Min rubs the back of his neck, feeling awkward. "Aish, it's nothing. It's part of my job." I try to stand, but my legs wobble and I go falling forward. Dr. Min catches me by my arms. I look up and my face is only inches from his. 'Wow' is all I could think. He was truly stunning. His eyes were so beautiful. Those chocolate ripples in his eyes surrounded by a darker brown around the outskirts of his iris.

"Are you okay?" He asks and takes a step back, releasing my arms. I almost felt electricity just now when he touched me.

He takes my hand and helps me to the couch where I can sit. He sits down beside me, close enough that I start to feel flustered but not close enough for my heart. For some reason, I'm longing for him to be closer to me.

"What happened? Why did this happen?" He questions me. I remove my eyes from his and look down at my hands folded in my lap. "I did as you asked. I told Jimin the truth. He flipped out. He was so angry that I hid it from him, made a fool of him he said. He was yelling and throwing things, breaking stuff. I guess it triggered a memory." Dr. Min scratched the top of his head. "He was that upset?" I frown and nod, being frightened by the memory.

"Odd, I didn't see that happening." I shrugged. "Me either." I sit there quietly for a moment and Dr. Min is silent as well.

"We will have to revisit that memory in your next session." I bite on my bottom lip nervously. I didn't want to do that. "Must we?" I ask quietly. "I'm afraid so," he responds, just as hushed. I just stare at his eyes. What's this peaceful feeling I'm experiencing right now? His presence alone is keeping my dark thoughts at bay. I feel...safe.

The front door handle jiggles and Hoseok enters the apartment. "Rooooommie!" He sings, his back to us as he closes the door. He turns around and sees Dr. Min and I sitting on the couch. "What the..." He steps towards us; confusion is displayed on his face. "Why is your therapist here?" Dr. min stands up and holds out his hand to Hoseok. "I'm Dr. Min Yoongi, I was called here because of a psychological emergency. Your friend here entered a state of psychosis. If she had been left alone, I'm afraid a seizure might have occurred." Hoseok's eyes widen at the doctor's words. He drops the hand he was shaking and runs over to me.

Holding my cheeks in his hands, he looks all over my face, tears welling up in his eyes. "Are you okay?!" Seeing the hurt on Hobi's face causes me to begin cry as well. He pulls me into a tight hug. "Jiminie hates me now. He flipped out." Hoseok looks around the room. "I see that," he says, gritting his teeth. "That fucking fool. I'll kill him. He broke some of my things and he hurt you. He's dead."

I look up at Hoseok and I hear the front door shut. I look around and Dr. Min must have just left. I feel the desperate need to chase after him. I want to thank him; I didn't want him to go. Why am I now feeling restless?