Psychology of Love (MYG 18+)

You're My Tear, You're My Fear

After my morning shower, Hoseok informs me he has to go visit his parents. "My dog Mickey is sick, and needs taken to the vet. My mom told me it's my dog, so I need to do it." I nod, agreeing with that logic. "It's a shame we can't have pets in this apartment. Mickey would have been a great addition to our family." Hoseok smiles sadly. I could tell he felt the same way.

"Yeah. I miss him. I'll text you later." Hobi kisses my cheek and vanishes out of the apartment. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I had the day off. Hoseok was gone, Yoongi was at work. Jimin hated me. I didn't have much I could do.

I decide to open my laptop and look on the internet for something. In my search bar I typed in 'literary schools near me.' I wanted to look into some universities. I was just window shopping; I wasn't committing to anything.

My eyes scan each search result and I read some information about various different types of schools. I could feel my anxiety surfacing as I was looking at colleges. The little voice in the back of my head was doubting I could do it. It told me to stop looking. It told me I'd never amount to anything. But I told that voice to shut up. This was my life and I'd govern my own decisions, not my doubts. Not my fears.

I owed it to myself to try. Just like Yoongi said last week, I needed my willpower to be stronger than my fear. I needed a strong resolve.

I look over at my phone that starts ringing. Jimin's face pops up and I feel my heart sink. I missed him; I missed our friendship. I let the call go to voicemail. I was trying my best to keep my distance from him.

Shortly after, my phone dings and I'm notified that I have a voicemail. I listen to it and my heart literally breaks into two. I hear a broken sweet voice through the phone speaker.

"Hey. I know you're mad at me, but I can't take this distance anymore. I miss you so much it hurts. Every time I have something happen, you're the first person I want to tell, but you're not talking to me. That hurts me so bad. Please, forgive me. I miss you so much."

My bottom lip quivers, it sounded like he was crying. Jimin's nose was stuffed up, and his voice was nasally. The pleading that was caked in his voice was what really broke me. This distance wasn't helping anyone. We were both hurting.

I had enough, I pick up my phone and text Jimin. I missed him and he missed me. There was no reason to detach ourselves anymore. I type to him quickly; I inform him I'm home today if he wants to come visit me. I knew he was off today as well.

Jiminie:

I'm leaving now.

A small knock hits my door and I open it. I look at my best friend and his eyes were so red. He looks paler than I'd ever seen him. Usually Jimin had beautiful caramel skin, but right now he didn't look well. My heart cracked as I looked at him.

Jimin sniffs and lunges at me, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I feel him shake against my body; he must be crying. "I'm so sorry. I was such an idiot. I love you; I'll always love you." I hear his voice break and I try to fight back the urge to cry as well.

"I love you too Jiminie." I tighten my grip around him. Jimin pulls back and smiles sadly at me. A tear rolls down his perfect face. "Please come back to work with me. Jen could never replace you." I wipe his tear with my thumb, and he smiles wider. "Okay Jiminie." He hugs me again; he rests his head on top of mine.

"I missed you so much. I'm sorry I took you for granted. I know now that I can't have you, but I still want you as my best friend, that'll never change." I smile against his chest. I was so relieved that he came to that conclusion. I was hoping he would.

Jimin steps back, bends down to my eye level and takes my hands in his. "I'll support you. I'll fully support your relationship. If you're happy, then I'm happy. And I mean that." I smile brightly at him. That's all I ever really wanted. "Thank you Jiminie."

"Let's go do something fun, we haven't hung out in so long." He tells me, his eyes full of hope. I nod and couldn't be happier to spend my day with him. "Okay, but do you mind if I bring along a friend?" I ask him and he looks at me confused. "Yoongi?" I shake my head. "Nope, I made a new friend. Jungkook." Jimin smiles and ruffles my hair. "Whatever you want princess."