I'll Smile When You Speak

Chapter 26

Song of the Day: Over and Over by Neck Deep

Odette's POV:

~1 week later~

I felt Mark's warm hand hold my shaky one and squeeze it, comfortingly. I drew my gaze from the window and looked over at Mark, he turned for a second from the wheel to flash me a reassuring smile, which I lamely returned. I returned my eyes to the window and watched the city of Los Angeles pass by. My heart was racing and I felt the butterflies in my stomach, and not in the good way. Mark and I told the band and Ange about the situation and we told them how we would come to Los Angeles to go see a doctor to find out if I actually was pregnant or not, which we were sure I was, I had all the symptoms. I was worried about the baby not being his, because that was probably higher than anything. I saw the hosptial around the corner and I shivered. Mark squeezed my hand again. He got in the parking lot and parked the car, turning the engine off.

"Odette, we will be okay. I promise. I won't leave you and I want you to know that I will accept the baby if it isn't mine, even if it takes some time and I will help you raise it as if it were mine, if you choose to keep it. I will become the baby's father, if that is what you want." He said, and he raised my hand to kiss it, I felt goosebumps were his lips had been and I nodded, biting my lip to keep myself from crying. Mark was too nice, too good, and I only brought him trouble. I exhaled.

"Okay." I whispered. He gave me a small smile and let go of my hand to unbuckle his seatbelt. I grabbed his wrist and he turned to look at me.

"Wait, I just, could we please wait for a minute?" I said, he sighed and nodded. He held my hand again. Then I leaned to him in an instant and I kissed his lips desperately. He seemed shocked but soon rested a hand on my cheek and kissed back, just as roughly. I let go of his hand to hold his face in place, he used his other free hand to rest it on the back of my neck and deepen the kiss. We both seemed desperately scared and longing for each other, I just hoped this wouldn't be the last kiss I would give him after the appointment was over.

Soon, I let his face go and rested my palms on his shoulders as I broke the kiss and bit my lip, still not opening my eyes, he dropped his hands to rest them on my waist and our foreheads together. We steadied our breathing and I opened my eyes to see his were already opened and I saw a flash of pain in those blue orbs, then it quickly left and I felt horrible.

"Mark, I love you, so so much." I whispered, raising a hand to caress his cheek with my thumb while I said it. Looking into his eyes, I saw the pain flash again almost unrecognizable as it left as soon as it arrived. He parted his lips and I felt his breath tickle my lips, and before he answered, I pecked his lips again then pulled away and opened the door quickly.

"Let's go." I said, his pained eyes appearing in my mind again as I closed the door and started walking to the hospital, I felt him next to me again and he held my hand and squeezed it. I didn't look or squeezed back, I felt like a horrible person for making him feel pain. We got to the waiting room and I went to the receptionist to inform her we had arrived and she smiled sweetly at us and told us to wait until we were called after I gave her the information and medical things. Mark and I sat together, holding hands but not speaking a word. I glanced over at him. He was resting his head on his hand. I wondered what he was thinking of, I wished I could read minds. I wished I could read it and make sure he wouldn't really leave me and find out if he truly did love me, or at least if he will still love me if the kid isn't his.

In that moment, I felt mad, infuriated even. I was sick of my crappy situation and I was pissed at Steven. If that piece of sorry excuse for a man hadn't crashed into me that day outside of Starbucks, making me spill my coffee all over him and offering to wash it for him, I wouldn't be this in this situation because I would have never fallen in love with him. Mark and I would've been happy right now, expecting our baby. I was sure it wasn't his, and that broke my heart, I wished I would've had the strength to push Steven off me when he started to rape me. I wished I could have never met him, or fallen in love with him. I was going to marry the guy and he turned out to be and abusive man. I should've called the police when I left the first time, I wouldn't be here all worried over if it was his kid or not if I had called. I should have done it, why did I talk myself out of not calling? Why was I so stupid and scared to have called? I was mad at myself and I should just-