I'll Smile When You Speak

Chapter 17

Song of the Day: Suitcase by Circa Survive

Odete's POV:

It was the day of the book signing and I rolled out of bed, I had cried every night, hugging hopelessly onto Mark's t-shirt. I hadn't returned anything, and I hadn't gotten anything of mine back. I had no contact whatsover with anyone but Angelica, and even with her, I barely muttered anything. I was full of regret and pain, but it was all caused because of me. I had started writing another book, a sad one at that, but I didn't care, I wrote what I felt, my first book had been pretty depressing, besides, I don't have to publish this one if I don't want to. I went to the shower and after taking such a long time and screaming along to Pierce the Veil, I changed into something other than sweat pants and big hoodies that I had been wearing for the last few days.

I changed and went to bed again, going through tumblr until the time for the signing. Time passed by pretty fast and soon enough I heard Angelica knock on my door to which I told her to come in.

"Ode, I'm leaving, are you sure you don't want to come?" She asked, she was leaving to the airport, to tour with the guys of course, after constant begging from me, I convinced her to go and not stay back because of me. She wasn't going through all of it though, she was coming back in a month, for a photo shoot, which also happenend to be a day that I was having another signing at the other end of the city.

"No, Ange, I'm sorry. I should head over to the bookstore though, to set up and all. You want me to drop you off?" I offered, to make it sound like I wasn't as hurt as I realy was. She nodded and I stood up and grabbed my things, putting more perfume on myself and we left. I left her on the airport entrance and she looked at me and smiled sadly.

"I'll miss you, Ode. Please be sure to eat and take care of yoursef while I'm gone, kay? I love you so so much to the tardis and back. I'll be back before you know it." She said. I nodded and went for a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I'll miss you, have fun." I muttered in between the hug.

"I'll try. Ode, are you sure you don't want to say go-"

"I'm okay, I'll be late if I don't leave now. Please say bye and good luck to them for me. Now, go. I love you Ange and take care!" I called out as she nodded and got her stuff out. She waved again before going in. I waved and smiled too. Once she was out of sight, I sighed and felt some tears escape my tired eyes. I inhaled again and drove away. It's okay, it was better if I didn't see him, it was better that way, I had done the right thing. But it sure as hell didn't feel like it.

I got to the place and slowly parked the car and sighed, getting ready for this. I need to at least fake smiles or something, I needed to be cheerful to my readers and act happy or else they wouldn't be happy. I forced a smile to my face and told myself to be happy, cheerful just like I really want to feel. It will be alright.

I opened the door as I texted Emily, quickly getting a reply to come through the back door so the peope in line would't see me. I texted her okay and went to the back. She opened the door for me cheerfully and smiled widely at me. She was always so happy and I felt determined to act the same way to my lovely readers.

"Odette! You are early. Oh well, it doesn't matter, better to get started at the exact time, now come on." She led me to the office of the little book store filled with boxes and boxes of what I guessed had books inside, and I tried not to drool at the sight in front of me. I felt excited despite of it all and felt like hanging around to buy myself some books afterwards. I would be alone for a month with nothing to do anyway so guess it would be okay.

As it turned out, more people than anticipated were here, so we decided to start a little bit early so the store stopped being so cramped. I felt happy that there was so many people supporting my work and actually wanting to meet me. Emily pulled me outside and directed me to a chair where I would be first reading a little from my book and telling them about it before signing. I heard some cheering and clapping and I flashed a smile. I sat down and read the crowd some of my book after being introduced and then told them about what inspired me to write it and some secrets and etc. Finally, it was time for the actualy signing, the line started to form and I got out a pen, then several pens after taking a second glance at the line.