I'll Smile When You Speak

Chapter 16

Song of the Day: Taxi Cab by Twenty One Pilots

Odette's POV:

I woke up because of the smell of something burning. I panicked and stood up to see a faint cloud of smoke and I rushed to the kitchen before the fire alarm started beeping. I saw Angelica with a panicked face, moving a pan on fire to the sink were it made a sizzling noise after the fire extinguished. I went to the stove and turned on the little fan and opened all the windows near the kitchen. I went to get the alarm off as it had started beeping. I went back to Angelica who seemed like she was about to cry.

"Ange, what were you attempting to cook?"I smirked. She hugged me.

"I thought I would actually burn the house down this time. I was trying to make some pancakes before you woke up." I hugged her and smiled sweetly, she was too good for me.

"Ange, you're too good for me. Thank you. For everything, I don't think I could ever repay you." I said, stroking small circles on her back as she calmed down.

"No, you have given me enough as well, you always do the same for me and I love you so much." She said, pulling back, kissing my cheek and ruffling my hair afterwards. I looked at our mess of a kitchen.

"How about we clean up and go out to get some breakfast at IHOP?" Angelica asked. I smiled sadly.

"I really don't want to go out right now." I said, without energy. My chest still hurt and I couldn't really find the strength to go out, I didn't want to see anyone or do anything, I felt weak still. She smiled sympathetically at me.

"I understand, but Ode, you have to go out anyway, the company called for you. They're expecting you this afternoon." She informed. I sighed, thinking about the book and how it was the reason for my sadness, ugh. I nodded and went upstairs.

"Let me shower then." I said. Angelica was ready already and she started to clean the living room where we had slept. I went to pick my outfit, just some pants and a random T-shirt. I saw that I had Mark clothes and took one of his shirts and hugged it to my face, burying myself in it and smelling his scent. It smelled like him, cologne and a mixture of detergent and freshly cut wood. It only made me miss him more and made me feel gultier. My chest starting hurting again as I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. I sighed and went to my bed instead. Hugging onto his shirt. I started crying. Even if I had broken up with him, I still loved him very much but it saddened me that it was probably for the best to have done it, he was leaving for 3 months and had gotten tired of my constant whining over Steven.

I hated this, I hated ever meeting Steven, if it weren't for him, I would have still been with Mark. I hated myself most of all, because I wasn't strong enough to keep him with me now and I wasn't strong enough to run away from Steven before he tried to kill me and caused me so much pain, a pain that had taken my ability to trust in someone with something as fragile as my heart. It was my fault Mark said those things to me, I was the only one to blame and I hurt him. I cried and cried more silently, pitying myself until I heard Angelica walk up the stairs.

"Ode, are you read- Oh, Ode." She came up to me and hugged me again, looking at Mark's shirt.

"Ange, my chest hurts so much. It's all my fault. I wasn't strong enough for us, it was my fault, I should've trusted him more." I whimpered. Once again, she comforted me.

"Ode, it wasn't your fault, you couldn't help putting your walls up, you were protecting yourself, trying to avoid what happened with Steven to happen again, it's understandable. I'm sure Mark doesn't blame you as he said he did, you guys said stupid things that you didn't mean. Calm down, you need to get ready to go. I'll be with you, okay?" I sniffed and inhaled big breaths. I finally stopped crying and Ange helped me up to the bathroom and turned it on for me.