I'll Smile When You Speak

Epilogue

Song of the day: Goner by Twenty One Pilots

Odette's POV:

I heard a knock and I quickly wiped my eyes. I had been crying for two straight hours. I heard the knock again. I breathed in.

"I don't wa-"

"Odette, it's me. I'm coming in." I heard Mark's voice. I felt a sense of relief because he was here. I really needed him right now. The door opened and in came the love of my life, with pity and concern in his eyes. He went to my aide and held my face.

"Odette. Oh Odette. I'm so sorry." He said. I cried again and placed my hands over his.

"Why are you sorry silly? It was my fault." I said, my voice breaking, confusion filled his eyes and he looked around to find an answer in my eyes.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"If I had taken better care of myself, Robert would still be alive. I'm sorry Mark, you wanted a family, and I ruined it." I said, crying harder. He shook his head and kissed my forehead.

"Shh, shh. Don't say that. Odette, it wasn't your fault, it was just not meant to be. That doesn't mean we can't try again. We have our whole lives, we'll get married and-"

"I can't marry you right now." I said. He looked at me dead in the eyes and then cleared the short distance between us to meet my lips with his.

"Don't say that. I understand you need time, I'm not saying right now, I mean in the future. Please don't say it like that. I love you, and I'm ready to marry you, no matter the circumstances. No matter the way we do it, it can just be a small wedding. But if you really need time, we can wait. Just please don't say it that way." I looked at him.

"Mark, I love you and I really want to marry you. But I just lost my baby, our baby. I'm going to need time. What if I can't give you what you want? I'm scared of getting pregnant again. What if this happens again?" I asked. He shushed me with his lips.

"It won't. We'll be okay. It's just another obstacle, we'll be okay. We have time. And if you don't want to have a baby, we can adopt. There is many options." He said. I smiled slightly.

"Okay." I said, he let go of my face and I moved slightly to make space for him to lay down with me on the small bed. He put an arm around me and layed his head on top of mine while he held my hand, our legs intertwined.

"Are you okay? Does anything hurt?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"I guess it kind of hurts down there, but I'm fine. How was England? Do you have to go back?" I asked, trying to distract myself.

"Apparently, we can work on it later, the band told me to be with you. They still had the whole album to record, so we have plenty of time. They just wanted to get our song out of the way, but it's alright if we postpone it until later." Mark explained.

"Go if you need to. I'm fine." I said.

"Don't try to lie to me. I know you are not. I was scared when they told me what happened. I was scared you might have stopped talking again. I was terrified of having to see your lifeless eyes again." He said. I squeezed his hand.

"I had a lot of time to reflect on this, although I feel depressed, I know not talking will make it worse, so I'm trying to control it." I said.

"It's okay, you can let yourself go around me, you know that." I bit my lip when I felt the tears coming. I let go of his hand and wrapped my arms around his torso and buried my head in his chest and cried. I cried until I couldn't anymore and when I stopped, I still felt sad, but I knew I would eventually be okay, as long as he was next to me. I'm sorry little Robert. Please take care of us from up there, my sweet little angel.