left myself at home

chapter twenty three: welcome back to mills

THE ONE WAY FLIGHT BACK isn't as lonely as the flight there, despite me being alone. right as i arrived back to the hotel i told my mom i needed a flight home, which brings us here. 7 hours away from boston.

i fall asleep and i'm tapped by the elderly woman beside me, telling me the plane has landed. i literally brought nothing on the first plane, so all i'm bringing is my moms backpack as my carry on.

i get off the plane and travel through the airport to catch an uber to the school. it's about noon, and i try to make my entrance as quiet as possible. i walk past the front desk as soon as possible. it's currently wednesday, and i'd be in gym right now.

"excuse me," the front desk woman says.

ughhhhhhh.

"are you supposed to be in a class right now?" fml.

"uhm..." i try to explain, since it looks like i'm cutting class with my small backpack resting on my shoulders.

"what's your name?" she says, making me regret coming in from the main entrance.

"val—eria. rose, valeria rose." i choke up, which makes me look even more guilty.

"perfect, looks like you are heading to the gym. i'll notify your teacher. thank you!" she says a minute after looking on her computer. but whatever, i can go. i'm in my moms sweatshirt and some flared leggings, so i guess that's gym appropriate. 

i walk through the pretty empty hallways towards the gym entrance and step inside.

"valeria, hey. we're playing some volleyball, feel free to join a team." the gym teacher says as he spots me walking in. that goddamn front desk woman.

i scan the room and find kris, adhira, and lexi in a team. claire's talking with that riley girl, and standing beside two other girls, so i assume their team is full. i also see daniel and kyle with another guy in the far corner. i walk to kris's group, hoping for the best.

"hey can i—"

"our group is full." kris cuts me off. i bite my lip, but i'm not very surprised. sofia obviously filled the group in, though i'm thinking she left out the part where she kissed me.

i continue walking to the group in the far corner with kyle.

"hey um," i stumble over my words as i remember my last interaction with kyle.
"can i join your group?" i ask specifically kyle hoping he accepts my lonesome wish.

"yeah, good to see you by the way." kyle adds words on the end that my brain catches onto for comfort. i think he's understood why i did what i did, and that's a plus.

i join into the volleyball game and wait out the ten minutes until the bell rings. i now have a free period, and nothing to do. i end up wandering the halls to avoid my dorm room, and sit myself in the library.
i'm in the back section because it's more private and if i end up crying the chances of people seeing me are low!

i open my phone out of boredom and immediately set it down. i simply am staring into space, but it feels good to do nothing.

"hey." a quiet voice says from the entrance to the back room.

i unconsciously rise, responding with:
"hi." eyes pulsing out.

"we should talk." claire says still lying in the doorway. it's in a monotonous tone, which makes me question how this is gonna go.

"yeah." i quietly say back and she walks over to the table i am at.

"where were you?" she asks in the same monotone voice.

"paris.  did anyone tell you anything about–"

"i figured that one out for myself." claire simply answers my main question. 

"okay, well i need to tell you something else." i say and face claire directly.

"sofia kissed me, once everything went down. she liked me." i dump a whole lot of information into one sentence and instantly regret it.

i hear herself physically react and take it in, again regretting that.

"okay." she says, not much expression mixed in.

"i'm sorry, claire i'm so sorry." i begin to cry to her.

"did you kiss back?" she asks. i shake my head 'no,' and it's the truth. i just hope she believes it.

"i believe you."

i rest my head between her hands, and she picks my head up and cups my face.

"i love you, 'kay?" she radiantly smiles through a few tears.

"'kay." i accept her words and smile back.

i think the whole world could fall apart in five minutes and a second with claire would instantly make me forget everything.

i put my face on top of her resting arm and simply just rest it there.

"you know i hate everyone else in the world but you, right?" claire confirms as i relish in the comfort of her soft skin.

"you know i don't love anyone else in the world more than you, right?" i say before looking up into her eyes and smiling.

"mhm." she smiles even brighter back.

"mhm." i repeat back to her and then go in to kiss her.

i fucking love this girl.

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author writing heyyy

GIVE ME SOME OPINIONS ASAP BECAUSE EVERYTHING (believe or not) IS ABOUT TO GET EVEN MESSIER 😈😈😈😈
YALL AINT READY!!

(let's just say look out for a certain gemini😉)