left myself at home

chapter twenty nine: rainy moonlight

I PRACTICALLY SPRINT out of the dorm room, slamming the door instantly as i storm through the draft and silent hallway. it's pouring now, and i begin to hear it as i step under the skylight.

"val, come on, wait please!"

i'm silent as claire begs behind me.

"we didn't do anything!" she begs.

"but you wanted to." i whip my head around to face her, jabbing my words at her sorry face.
"you reeeeally wanted to, huh?" i angrily ask except i sure as hell know the answer.

"but we didn't!"

"i see why you want her. i see why you almost did it. until i stopped you of course." i state in fury. i think i'm crying, but i'm too angry to notice.

"she was me without all the whispers in the hallway all the sly comment that you couldn't handle when you soon enough realized you couldn't keep me a secret!" i say and realize the irony when i wanted to keep us a secret first, and then it took a complete 180 after...well...
"and after miles," i pause.
"and fuck after miles you knew you'd never want that, you knew you'd never take the chance. but you're not miles, claire!" i try to get her to realize. miles was in a christian school with a million other carbon copies of toxic masculinity.  i would never make claire 'come out' but i hope the differences are made clear.

"people can call you the ugliest bitch in the world but the second that they claim i'm what make you ugly you'll ditch me as soon as possible and you know it!"

"because it felt like you were forcing me!" she screams at me.

"i would never force you to do anything," i calmly say despite her loud words.
"it's your decision to make and i would wait, forever if it meant i could be with you. but you didn't." now i just feel the sadness occupying my conscience.
"but i don't know what i can do after this." every ounce of pain is heard in each syllable i speak.

"valeria, i—"
"no..." i shake my head as we stand in the draft hallway. i turn away to leave but claire's fragile hand swoops my face into hers. i quickly pull away from her lips, looking her directly in the eye. water damps my face, and hers now, too.

"no..." i say once again. i try to deny her but i know i'm my heart i'll always be drawn to her presence, so i must fight every urge in my body to turn away from her. i step away from the skylight and into the dim lights of the hallway. claire's left there, standing in the rainy moonlight. i couldn't tell where the greater storm was, inside or out.

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author speaks!!

hiii i've literally been writing this chapter since march of last year, i'm sooo happy with how it turned out.

i started another story with a similar wlw ship and also some other ones!! make sure go check it out it's very interesting so far TY