Song For You/ Cate Blanchett fanfiction

Be(longing)

Next day

You wake up to find out, that you've overslept, well, both of you. It's actually ok, you were so exhausted from that talk. Unfortunately, you remember everything, it wasn't some terrible dream. 

You feel light touch on your back. 'Cuddle with me?' speaks her low voice. 

And you do. 

After the morning coffee and small breakfast, you decide to continue on your journey, which is kinda relief as you can leave those horrible things in the motel room. Cate convinces you to go for a walk by the ocean. It's actually cold, so you squeeze under her coat, feeling her warmth and thinking about the color of that sea matching with her magic eyes. 

'I want to keep you close to me forever, Y/N. Like this. And when I am about to turn ninety, you will grag me with you until I die in your arms. Hopefully it won't be on stage while your performing! ' She laughs. 

'Oh, that means I will get your money and wardrobe, right? ' You joke back and she winks at you. 

You walk on the beach, realizing that you're in the begining of new life together. You have to smile  although you now it will be hard to heal her soul and yourself. 

'You can heal me, don't worry about it. And I need to take care of you, too. You are my everything.' Cate tells you. You can feel the butterflies in your stomach. They are dancing happy moves. 

'You are my everything, too, my woman, my celebrity...' You make fun of her and she tickles you. 

You kiss her instead. 

Cate closes her eyes and you know you belong to her.

When you're packing your stuff, you see the books she brought with herself. Poems about love and Julianna Margulies's book. 

'You're reading those?' You ask. 

'Well...yes. These poems are someting. It reminds me of you. And this..' She points to Julianna's book. '...is kind of nice memoir of my dear friend. ' She smiles not looking at you. 

'She is great, I love her on The Morning Show and she was great in ER and Paradise Road. ' You simply say. 

'You saw that?' Cate laughs nervously. 'I was so young then and it was great to shoot with such legends. My character was into Frances McDormand's character, but reality was that I had a crush on Julianna...' Cate said embarrassedly. 

'and was it reciprocated? ' You wanna know. 

'Maybe. I have to tell you something. I do not want to have any secrects. I have had relationships with women. Andrew knew, I think.' We both shiver at the sound of his fucking name. 'There were some actresses you may recognize. Every case ended badly. ' Cate whispers and you nod. She continues. 

'Anyway. I had a wild relationship with Gillian. She was fun, wild, sex was amazing..she was my first. Gosh, I feel like blushing right now. Then there was someone I don't want to think about. She was the reason I avoided my husband, I wanted to leave my family but could not at the end. She broke my heart, but I loved her deeply. It was the time I realized that the marriage with him was a mistake.' Cate said. 

'I am sure she loved you back...I mean..who wouldn't..' You are jealous but want to act cool.

'It's not that, it was rather complicated than anything else. And...No. I am sorry to talk about her. It's in the past. ' Cate says and it seems she is ending the topic.