When They See Us (Book 1.0)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Macy

It's been three days since Addy started acting strangely around me. I'm not sure what I did wrong. She isn't talking to me as much as she used to. She seems to be avoiding something, but I haven't pressed her into telling me. She'll do it when she's ready.

I hate that my brain is thinking about every horrible scenario in the book. Like, did she cheat on me? I mean, it's a new school, new people, maybe someone new caught her attention. We aren't together 24/7 now because we have different classes, but she couldn't have cheated on me, right? I know she didn't. I trust her, and I know she'd never.

Maybe I'm the one that did something wrong? I know I didn't cheat. But perhaps she's pissed at me for not putting my laundry in the dirty basket or not washing the dishes in the sink or something. It's different now that we live alone. Her parents don't nag us anymore to do the stuff around the house. So it's easy for me to forget to do chores.

I fall over, groaning into the pillow, not knowing what in the world could've possibly gone wrong. I take a deep breath and sit up on the bed, glancing at the bathroom door.

Addy is in the shower right now because she said we needed to go somewhere today. I'm sitting on our bed already dressed, watching Happy Feet 2 for the millionth time. It's become my favorite movie now, thanks to my girlfriend. Her phone starts to buzz next to me. "Babe? Your phone," I yell to her. She doesn't respond, so I assume she doesn't hear me. When I lean over to see who it's from, Daniels' name appears.

Is this the same Daniel I know? The one that raised me when my mother died? When did she get his number? Why didn't she tell me she was talking to him? Wait, is he out of rehab?

All these questions plague my mind, and anxiety rises within me. I pick the phone up, and facial recognition already opens it to the message. My eyes land on an image of Daniel and my mother sitting at a table. I do a double-take, looking at the photo once more. That can't be possible. This has to be an old photo, right? My mother? How could this be? She's... dead.

The door opens to the bathroom. Adelaide walks out, drying her hair. My chest starts to ache, and it becomes difficult to breathe. As I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans, an all too familiar urge and panic rise within me. My eyes well up with tears as I feel the barriers rebuild around me. I shake my hands to get the blood to flow back through them and burst out in tears.

Adelaide turns from the dresser with confusion and rushes to my side. "Macy, what's going on? Breathe. You're having a panic attack. Talk to me."

I ball my fist up and shove her off me. "Talk to you? Adelaide, how about you talk to me and tell me what's going on? You have been ignoring me for the past three days!"

"Macy." I get off the bed and start pacing the room.

"Don't 'Macy' me! I- I don't understand."

"What don't you understand?"

"This can't be real. I'm dreaming right?"

"Macy!" I feel as if my chest is caving in with every breath I take. "What don't you understand!"

"This!" I shove her phone in her face. "How about you explain this because I'm about two seconds from calling an old connection to erase myself into oblivion! Why the fuck do you have a picture of my mother? My very dead mother."

She looks at the text message, and her shoulders drop. "Macy, I can explain."

"Then start explaining Adelaide. Why do you have Daniel's number? I never gave it to you. He is supposed to be at a recovery center. If he is out, why didn't he text or call me? Why is he talking to you? Maybe he just wanted to surprise me that he got out... right? No, that doesn't explain the picture. Why is there a picture of my, supposedly dead, mother on your phone? Why didn't you tell me? This is an old picture, right? It's got to be. There is no way..." I close my eyes, trying to block all the questions bombarding my mind that I'm screaming more at myself than her. "How is she still alive? Why didn't she come back for me?"

My knees buckle under me, and my salty tears begin to stain the carpet. I grab my chest, trying to grasp the air straining to come through my lungs.

"Macy..."

"No....no... no" I shake my head vigorously as if to shake all the possible explanations out of my head. "She didn't want me. That's why she never came for me. She left me here to rot with the same drug addiction she exposed me to in the first place."

She kneels and scoots closer to me, pulling me into her. I sob into her shoulder as she holds me tightly.

"Baby girl, she would have if she could," she whispers into my hair. I try to control my breathing and glance up through my tear-stained eyes. She sighs. "Daniel showed up here three days ago, clean from the drugs. I thought he was here to see you, but then she walked up."

"My mother? So th-the picture is a re-recent one?" I attempt to speak while desperately sucking in air to calm down.

She nods her head. "I got pissed at Daniel for bringing her here after so many years of not contacting you. Until she steps in front of him and introduces herself to me."

"Why would she introduce herself? She knows you already."

I watch Adelaide's face lower to the floor before she wipes her tears and looks up to the ceiling. She takes a deep breath.

"Yeah, I thought the same thing. After the overdose, she lost all her memory. She doesn't know who you are Macy. That's why Daniel brought her here so she could meet you again."

I sit up, bringing my knees to my chest. "How can she not know me? She's my mother."

"I've been texting Daniel, trying to think of a way to bring it up to you baby. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just scared you'd freak out and want to revert to drugs."

She starts crying, and I pull her into me. I know she was trying to protect me. My addiction isn't just my own anymore. "I'm not mad at you, and I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry you have to live with the fear of me relapsing."

"I'm so scared Macy. I can't lose you again. I refuse to live my life without you." I hold her tighter

"I won't relapse, baby. I promise you won't lose me," I try to assure her. I pull back from her and wipe her cheeks. She reaches up and does the same.

"Is that where we were going today? Meeting them at the restaurant?" She nods her head. "I don't know if I can do this. It's been four years."

"I know. I was going to tell you after I got out of the bathroom. I just didn't know how, but look at me, baby. I will be right by your side. Always."

I give her a soft smile and kiss her. I rest my head against hers. "You can do this. You are so strong, Macy. Stronger than you think." I nod my head and kiss her one more time before lifting myself from the floor. I look in the mirror, collecting myself before she takes my hand, and we head out the door.