I don't want to feel better

Lol i have no more names

Tommy's POV:

It's so bright.. everything hurts...

I opened my eyes slowly to a white room. I was immediately hit with a wave of pain in both of my arms and legs along with an ache in my lungs.

What happened..

I looked around and saw an arrange of people sitting around sleeping in the chairs against the walls. There was a rythmatic beeping coming from the machine on my left and a bunch of other computers. I pulled my hand up to my face and noticed I was hooked up to most of these machines.

There was an IV in my left arm and I was hooked up to a bunch of other wires and tubes. I sat up slowly due to the pain and I looked to my left. There was a small button labeled "call staff" I debated pressing it but eventually just tapped the small button with my finger.

I waited a few minutes and some new people walked into the room, waking everyone up in the process. They were all rushed out of the room as the nurses and people came in.

-times skip cause idk what they do at hospitals tbh—-

After about 30 minutes if being asked questions, taking all of the machines off of me and handing me some food and water all the strangers left. I sat in bed setting the food tray to the side and sighed.

All the memories came back too me and now I wish I hadn't remembered. Had I really tried to kill myself..?

My thoughts were interrupted by the door opening and a couple people entered the room. Tubbo followed by Phil and Wilbur and Techno. I didn't say a word, I didn't want to talk to them. They would be so disappointed in me. They would call me selfish, though it's true I don't want to be reminded right now.

Tubbo ran over to me and gave me a hug. I wanted to cry. I told him I was okay. I told him it was gonna be okay and I lied. I lied to someone who meant the world to me.

"Tommy thank god your okay I was so worried I- thought you were gonna die! I thought I would never see you again!" Tubbo sobbed into my shoulder and I started crying.

"I'm sorry.. I- it won't happen again don't worry I'll be okay." I hugged Tubbo back despite the small amount of pain. I'm so selfish, I can't do this to him again. What is wrong with me..

"Don't apologize Tommy please!" Tubbo managed to say as he cried into my shoulder. I looked past Tubbo to the other people in the room. Phil was standing comforting Wil who was verbally sobbing. I could tell Phil was trying to keep himself together. Techno was sitting in a chair just staring at a wall. He had tears welding up in his eyes.

What have I done. I've ruined everything. I messed everything up Jsut because I acted on impulse and tried to fucking kill myself. How could I let this happen. I was supposed to be dead. I didn't want to see the effects I had on people if I was to die.

I have no idea how long it had been but Tubbo has now made his way into my hospital bed and was holding onto me for dear life. More people walked into the room after a while. I glanced up to see Karl, Ranboo, Niki, Eret and Dream walking in and trading places with Wil Phil and techno.

Everyone was crying and the few who weren't wouldn't say anything. I felt so guilty.
(Sobbing cause George just killed shroud the spider (lol nvm he's not anymore yay)

-lol back at the houseee cause I'm just gonna act like the hospital wouldn't put him in a mental hospital-

The drive home was silent. No one spoke to each other and no one took the risk of disturbing the peace with the radio. Well it wasn't really peace it was awkward silence. At least it was awkward for me.