I don't want to feel better

Wooo another chapter

Tommy's POV:

Everything seemed to be moving very slowly. I was standing in the bathroom and I felt really dizzy. I blinked my eyes harshly trying to possibly focus them.

Before I could comprehend my surroundings I was shoved to my knees so I was kneeling infront of the toilet and someone fingers were down my throat. I threw up the half dissolved pills and started coughing.

"Tommy? Can you hear me?" It was dream. I nodded and he hugged me. "It's gonna be fine Tommy. Everything is going to be perfectly fine."

I was sat on the floor, leaning against the shower glass door. I was passed a cup of water and I slowly drank it. Dream sat next to me and rubbed my back slowly as I finished the cup of water. I sighed and placed the cup on the floor. I leaned my head back against the glass and closed my eyes.

"Can you stand up? I want you to go lay down." Dream said

"Maybe, I can try.." I said my voice was clearly distraught. I stood up slowly and supported my body weight against the shower. I stood up fully and dream followed shortly after. He walked with me to my room, making sure I didn't fall on the stairs or in the hall.

I sat down on my bed and he put his hand on my head.

"Get some rest. Don't worry about anything. Me and Everyone else will take care of everything. Please just get some sleep." He said before pulling the blankets up to cover my shoulders and leaving.

"Thank you." I whispered before calmly laying in bed. I couldn't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep for a long time. I just have to wait for it to happen, and sometimes it doesn't and I just pull all nighters.

I closed my eyes and dragged my hands down my face as I let out a sigh.

That didn't just happen.

I took a deep breath and listened to my surroundings. I heard footsteps before my door opened slowly with a creek. I sighed and rolled over. I felt the weight shift on my bed as someone sat down.

"Tom- toms?" It was Tubbo. He was crying. I was hit with a huge wave of guilt as he stuttered through his sentence, despite the fact it was really only one word.

"Yes Tubbo?" I responded quietly and as calmly as I could.

"Why? Why do you keep doing this?" He cried as quietly as he could.

"I don't-" I tried to speak and he cut me off.

"Tommy we all love you. There is no reason to feel alone." He said.

"I know Tubbo. I don't know why I feel like this. I'm really sorry." I said calmly.

"Stop saying sorry. You apologize to much. I don't blame you it's not your fault for feeling sad." Tubbo whipped his face before laying down next to me.

He was still crying as he looked me in the face. I went to reach over and hug him to hopefully make him feel better but before I got the chance he pulled me into a hug.

"Tubbo man don't cry." I said and laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"You stop crying first." He said back and hugged me tighter.

I rested my head against his shoulder and continued to let the tears fall down my face.

"I'm not crying, big men don't cry. " I said

Tubbo let out a small laugh before he put his hand on the back of my head. I wrapped my arms around his torso and pulled him closer.

"Tom's your gonna get my shirt all wet." He laughed and attempted to wipe the tears from my face.