I don't want to feel better

Yipee

(Sorry for lack of updates, if you want a more active story with slightly more put together plot, I recommend checking out my other story on my account. Thanks so much for over 5k reads.)

Tommy's POV:

I couldn't think. I just kinda sat there. Once Wilbur had finally calmed down he held his chest and let out shaky breaths.

I just looked at him not knowing what to say or do. After a few more seconds I left. I walked out of the door and closed it behind myself. How could I do this to my friends. I am ruining their lives.

I walked down the hall and back into my room. Both Tubbo and Ranboo were still sat on their beds.

"Guys.." I said as they both turned their attention to me.

"What's up, Tommy?" Ranboo replied

"... never mind.." I couldn't think. I didn't know what to say. I turned around and left the room. I walked down stairs to the kitchen, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl and Phil were all hanging out in the living room watching a movie.

I shuffled through the junk drawer as quietly as I could. I grasped a small red lighter we had among the random screw drivers and batteries.

Slipping the lighter into my pocket I put my shoes on and walked out the front door. It was a cloudy day, it looked like it would rain soon but that wasn't my biggest worry right now.

It took me a few times before I successfully lighted the lighter. I admired the small amount of fire for a moment before pressing my finger tip against the flame.

It burned really badly, I instinctively yanked my hand away and started blowing on my now sauntering skin. After a moment I had recovered and began repeating the process. I didn't want to risk burning over any scars, so I stuck with burning my finger tips and the inside palm of my hand.

Once I felt good enough I stopped and admired the small red marks covering my hand. I felt a drop of water on my hand as I was looking at it. I glanced up moments before the rain picked up and started dropping little droplets of water at a very rapid pace.

The rain fell and I continued to hold my hand out into the rain. As the world got darker and darker with the heavy rain and clouds, I went back inside.

Opening the door and kicking my shoes off, quickly going to the kitchen and tossing the lighter back into the junk drawer.

I went over to the sink and ran my hand under the water of the faucet. It was cold but I didn't mind. I just didn't want the burns to be too severe.

I heard footsteps behind me before I quickly turned off the sink and pulled my hand back, whipping it off on my hoodie.

I turned around the see phil.

"Hey Tom, you good?" He asked putting his hand on my shoulder.

I smiled at him and nodded. He gave me an unsure smile back before glancing down at my hand and then back to my face.

In a swift motion he grabbed my hand and pulled it from my side. I held my hand in a fist just hoping he wouldn't find out.

"Could you open your hand for me Tommy?" He asked

'Shit shit shit shit ugh.'

I slowly opened my hand after mentally cursing myself.

Phil traced his thumb over the burns on my hands trying to be carful.

"Stay here." Phil said and walked to the bathroom after he dropped my hand.

I stayed put. What else was I gonna do? Run away from my problems? I mean that would probably be better.

Phil came back generally quickly. He grabbed my hand again and but open the lid of this tube.

'That's a bit dramatic.' I thought And scoffed

He slowly put some of the cream on my hand. I winced in pain as he put it on. It burned really bad. Not like how something hot burns, it burned like how someone putting alcohol in a cut stings. I pulled my hand back towards my chest.

"It only stings for a minute. Give me your hand." Phil said holding his hand out.

I reluctantly rested my hand on top of his, palm up. He finished putting the almost clear substance on my hand and screwed the top back on.

"Where is it?" He asked, I pointed to the junk drawer behind him. He turned, opened the drawer and took the lighter.

"..Are you mad at me?"

"No," Phil's responded

"Why not?"

Phil sighed and pulled me into a hug.

"Tommy I will never, ever be mad at you for this, okay?"

"Promise?" I mumbled

"Promise."

I hugged Phil back and we just kinda stood there. After a minute I pulled away and went back to my room. I sat on my bed. Both Tubbo and Ranboo were still in the room, just in their own respected areas.

Ranboo was at his desk, streaming. And Tubbo was laying in bed on his phone.

"Hey toms? You wanna hop on origins?" Ranboo said to me.

"Yeah sure man." I responded and walked over to my computer. I turned it on and booted up the server.

Me and Ranboo played for a long while. We mined and built a new building together until Ranboo decided to be done for the night. He ended his stream and leaned back in his chair, pulling off his mask.

"Looking good my man." I said to him and laughed as I made the fuck boy face.

Ranboo laughed and started up a conversation about this game he was playing or something. I wasn't listening very closely, but he seemed very happy about the game so I was happy for him.
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Sorry this is so short. I'm kinda lost with where this is supposed to go. Maybe I'll pick up pace sometime later but I've been way more into my other story and the 3rd person POV.