Stole My Heart

50. Learned From It

Since I love you guys and I managed to get it done in like 2 hours, I'm only leaving you on a cliffhanger for 22 hours. You're welcome.

"Where are you?" I asked, already going up the stairs to get my things.

"Lake spot," she said quietly.

"Be there in 15. Love you," I replied and hung up.

I slipped on my shoes then grabbed my keys, pocket knife, and wallet. I left without telling anyone. I'll deal with that later. I drove 10 over the speed limit the whole time. Most everyone does that anyway. The drive that should've taken 20 minutes going the speed limit took 15 like I said it would.

When I got there, I saw Tay's truck parked by the water. I got out of mine and walked over. She was sitting on the tailgate looking absolutely pitiful. The moon was the only source of light. I was glad it was full tonight. Tay had her knees to her chest and her chin resting on them. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. I climbed up beside her and pulled her into my chest. Her shoulders heaved with sobs. I slipped my hoodie off and slipped it over her head. I don't think she was prepared to come to the lake. She was in leggings and a thin t-shirt.

I held her for a long time. A long time. I rubbed my hand up and down her arm and kissed her head the whole time. I rocked us a little. Finally the worst of her tears had passed for now.

"I found his note," she said, her voice cracking again.

My eyes widened as I realized she was taking about Isaiah. I hugged her a little tighter.

"We thought he didn't write one," her voice was no more than a whisper.

I silently petted her hair. I didn't think she wanted me to talk right now.

"He stuck it in the box of love letters I have in my closet. I never would've thought to look there. I didn't even know he knew they were there," she took in a ragged breath, "I was going through them earlier and found it."

"It's almost been a year. January 17th," she shook her head.

"He was almost 18. His birthday is February 27th. I've never understood why he did what he did. He had severe depression. It consumed him. His darkness took over. In his letter, he said he was sorry. It wasn't his fault. I was mad at him for so long. I was mad at myself. He knew I would be. He told me that it wasn't my fault either. That it was inevitable. I don't believe that. I think he could've gotten better," her voice kept getting more blank, scaring me.

I made a mental note of both the dates she mentioned. Those days would be hard for her. I hated that she was hurting. I really hope that I'm never the cause of her heart breaking. My eyes were glistening as well.

"Peter, it hurts like hell," she said emotionlessly.

"I know it does, princess."

She sniffed and wiped her eyes, "Sorry I called you."

"I'm not. I'm glad you called me. I always want you to call me," I told her sincerely.

We sat on the back of her truck in silence for Lord only knows how long.

"Please don't mention the letter to anyone. I'm not going to tell Carter or my dad. They've accepted that he didn't leave anything. There's no reason to reopen that wound for them. Maybe in a few years, but not now," she said suddenly.

I disagreed with her. I thought she should tell them, but it was her decision. I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone. We sat there for another long time. My body was getting stiff, but I didn't want to disturb her. I knew she was working through things mentally.