Ch.38- Not so Heroic. Not so villainous.

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3rd POV

"Alright Shinso, You will continue to attend UA."

Izuku smiled. As of now, they were going over the plan. 

"Why couldn't you just send me?"

Bakugo asked irritated. Some... of them do not really agree with the idea. And again the meeting was in the kitchen.

"Because Kacchan. He's not the one that ran away from UA."

"Says the one who ran from the pros as well."

The blonde scoffed. Izuku sighed and sat on a stool.

"When I ran I had a good reason to."

"And I didn't?"

Izuku stared at Bakugo slightly annoyed.

"We all have our reasons for being here Kacchan... I just didn't have much of a choice."

"We all had a choice."

Bakugo sat up in his seat. 

"Kacchan..."

"We can't just ignore that those of us who are runaways, don't really have a position in this... This shitty group."

Bakugo said, his voice getting louder after every word.

"Bakugo."

Todoroki said warningly. The room was slightly tense with Izuku looking down at his scarred hands that gripped the seat of the stool while Bakugo stared directly at the boy.

"You're right."

Izuku looked up with suggestive eyes. 

"If you want a, what is it you called it?" 

He stood from the stool and walked around the kitchen. 

"Ah right... A position?"

Bakugo froze in his seat. Izuku would usually argue or fight him on a subject about something but this time he wasn't. But nor was he agreeing.

"Let's start with you then?"

"Zuku?"

Baster called worried at his friend's shifted emotions. Izuku stalked toward the blond and ended right in front of him with a small grin.

"How about you become the guard dog, huh?"

Everyone sucked in a breath. Most of them expected an explosion or yelling but instead, all that they were left with was a frowning blonde and a smiling Izuku. A long minute passed before the boy stood straight and turned to look at every one.

"Kacchans right! I'll start acting more like a leader and start treating everyone like my workers. Right?"

He turned to the blonde who stared at the ground.

"Izuku, I don't think that's what he-"

Denki shut up when a grinning Izuku turned to him.

"Think what?" 

"Midoriya, I think what he meant was what are the rest of us supposed to do when watching over the pros and villains."

Todoroki cleared his throat. Izuku turned to him.

"Isn't that what a position is?"

"Yes, but maybe we work as equals instead?"

Izuku let his smile drop. He looked around at everyone and down at the ground. Equals in Izukus's head when he was younger were that the powerful were at the top while the weak were at the bottom. In UA, equals meant you and everyone else are the same under different circumstances. But now, why did being equals mean everyone... every life was nothing?

He stared at his shoes remembering his talk with a certain pro. He remembered how he wanted to follow his heart again instead of his head. But now, all his heart is doing was hiding behind the thoughts that plagued his head. His heart doesn't care enough to fight against his thoughts so what is he to do?

He wanted to help people but he also wanted to let them die. He wanted to watch everyone die. Izuku was so scared of himself for thinking such things but it's what he felt. His whole reason for not offing himself yet was to save everyone. So why? Why does he want everyone to die instead?

"Deku!"

Izuku finally looked up after everyone has repeatedly called his name. He knew why. Izuku has always known why. His mind finally cleared and his heart completely blacked out.

"I want everyone to die so I can die as well."

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