Life's a rollercoster

38.

-I'm doctor Zorian. I'll be meeting you for the next few weeks- the woman shook his Hand surprisingly. Sitting in the waiting room he was ready to leave. Twice. Only when he decided to go out she appeared.
- hello, Tim Speedle.
Closing the door she went to the small table.
- coffee, tea or Water? She told him pointing the armchair.
Everything in the room was cold and solid, Simple. No things, pictures, gadgets.... Just concrete and Wood.
- no thank you.
- so lets start. I know your name and some details.... Anything you want to add?
- like what?
- like the reason you are here? An skip the ' I don't believe in therapy ' part.
Speed sat with open mouth
-....why would I say that?
- you wanted to leave at least twice since I have been watching.
- wasnt easier call me earlier instead? He said.
- i like to watch people for a while before I talk to them for the first time - she didnt even blink.
- oh... So you have an hour to watch now.
-55 minutes.
- yeah. ( What a witch...- Speed thought
-so?
- Im here to deal with myself.
- 5 Words about yourself, lets hear IT.
- shit....i hate IT
- go on.
- CSI, single father, Alone, sleepless, scared
- lets start with the first one - you're working full time?
- yes, because of my dauhter without any extrahours, two shifts for 8 hours.
- who's with your baby tHen?
-babysitter.
- You're divorced? Widower?
- married.
- where's your wife?
- ...  she left me with the baby.
- affair?
- no ! ..I.. don't know. Maybe? I don't care.
-Ok. So single father. No wife or family, no money.
- How do you know I have no money? You're pretty a  judging person.
- ehm....you're single parent working in public service, without overtime possibility, dressed in combat clothes which havent seen the ironing. Easy.
- ok Sherlock. Point taken.
- What's next ? Ah- sleepless. Why don't you sleep.?
- I come back in memories to the moment I was shot few Years back.
- why?
- i don't know. I thought I already overworked IT, but its still comes back.
- any other reason?
- well, my private life is a mess, baby and all the house on me.
- many women must handle this and they cope, Mr Speedle.
- I know, Im not blind and no sexist. I imagine also many MEN cope. I don't. I'm messed up with life and take every problem As a personal failure.
She wrote sth down in her notebook.

- how about your work? How do you cope at work?
- no problem with that, Im fast and well organized, I manage time the right way and my 'office' looks perfectly clean.
- unlike your life....
-what?!?
-...but that's true. Im not here to sympatize you, but to help you go thru this. I wont agree with you and nod everything, that is not my purpose. Understood?
- yeah.
-ok. Any relationships?
- meaning?
- I don't know - lover, girlfiend?
- Im still officially married, doctor.
- you still officially don't look like someone WHO is stopped by it- she said with sceptical look.

Speed had enough.

- look...I've got a feeling Im in the wrong place... Werent you supposed to help me?
- I still AM. But my experience and observation sense never fails me. For me you look and act like a little boy WHO is obviously unhappy with his life, however most of your failures come from your actions.  If a woman leaves a husband and a Child and disappears, and a Man doesnt care where she is, cannot compose himself, and additionally Has this boyish look and demeanor , and at the same Time is well organized at work means trouble with love life, or lack of Simple values, or manners or even Being Totally insensitive to others' needs.
That's the secret Mr Speedle.

Tim was furious.

- listen, maybe I didnt get many values or even manners from my home, nobody taught me sensitivity or how to cope like a woman with everything, but saying such things about somebody at first meeting is crap. That's unprofessional. That's unfair.And ....
-.... And maybe sit down and stop yelling at me,Mister!- She got up, and on these high heels she was almost as tall as him- I see I forgot to add you're short tempered and moody, and I Hope its not the way you treat people around you, like your family, your wife or even your baby!

He sat abruptly. Felt hurt and humiliated. But said nothing.

- makes you think over,hmm?
That maybe you're not as unhappy as you thought? Your life is not such hell, as maybe for these around you?
- I.WONT . TALK . TO. YOU. ABOUT. THAT. -  he hissed and got up.
- on the contrary, mister. You will. Moreover, you will discuss with me all the problems that come to your lovely head. And don't Play such naive and hurt. Still wearing your ring, don't you? Yet having new relationships I assume.
No, mister, you must understand  the fun Time is over.

He looked at her annoyed and took a look at his watch
- i guess the session Has just finished.

- IT has. Now go home. but don't pity yourself as you'd probably do, don't drink, don't shout. Go and think everything over. Next session on Wednesday.
tHen she opened the door for him.
He left.