Life's a rollercoster

49.

Two weeks have passed since the talk he has with Calleigh. He decided to call finally.
-Dr. ZORIAN
-Tim.. why did you call me? We have a meeting next week.
- would you find an hour for me?
-Not really, im full today. But I have 15 mins break. How can I help you?
-Im single again. Moreover, I promised myself not to start anything with Calleigh again.
We both agreed to stop seeing each other outside work, except for CSIs parties.
-Would you tell me why?
-We talked it over yesterday. Our relation got wider, but not that wide. We even wanted to make some commitment, when we talked about it separately it seemed a good idea. When we sat and talked it over it seemed a fairy tale.
No. Not gonna happen.
-How do you feel.
-Strange
-Deceived?
-No. Relieved.
-Really?
-I decided to finish the divorce case and then think of it. I...
-Sorry Tim I got to go. We'll talk about it next Tuesday, ok?
-Yes. Thanks.
-No problem. See you.
Leaving for work he popped into a nursery facility, that was on the way
-good morning -he said to a nice lady at the desk- I wanted to ask about the possibility of putting my daughter here, to the facility.
-how old is she?
-15 months.
-We have no vacancy right now but if you have time you could fill in the form. And then we'll see. Maybe there are some features that l help make it faster - she smiled.
-thanks. He took the form and pen.
He filled the baby' name, age, addresss the names of caretakes/parents - he only wrote his, as he also filed the children' s parental rights only for him.
Then he looked at the additional fields to be ticked, he guessed they could be the deciding features.
1.Unemplyed- no
2.Working- tick
3.Working shifts- tick (public servant)
4.Single parent - tick
5.Close relatives/ family- no
6.More children - no
7.Sickness- no
8.Allergies- no
9. Psychological problems- he stopped here wondering if it's for Ava or him- but he finally didnt tick it.
10. Medicines - no.

He gave the lady the list. She looked at it carefully and frowned.
-If you want to you can bring your daughter on Saturdqy - there come the parents of all chldren awaiting the facility. IT'S sometimes easier to see how the child is with other children wspecially when it hasnt any contact with other kids.
-What time?
-About midday.
Oh. - he remembered he's working dayshift. - can I let you know tomorrow? I need to change shift with someone to be here at midday.
-Yes. But dont hestitate too long ok?
-Thanks. I'll let you know tomorrow's morning ok?
She nodded and he left. Filling the form he understood how it looks like-no family ,no mother, no relatives, no contact with other children...
Starting his bike he decided to talk to Calleigh.
-Hi.
-Hi -she turned around, a bit surprised- I thought you have a.late shift today.
-I do, but wanted to pop to the nursery nearby and it appeared to be a very fast finish.
-oh yeah? Did you settle sth?
-No. Not yet. I can bring Ava on Saturday at midday to see if she gets along with other kids
-But you have shift?
-Yeah.
-Yes. I can.
-What?
-I can exchange if you wanted to ask me
-No. I actually came to talk.
-Theres nothing to talk about;) we sorted it out, it turned out good and that's it.
-when I think about those situations now I realize one thing- we should never...
-...meet alone?
-Yeah more or less. No offence but apart from our long lasting friendship most of our troubles came of mutual ..erm.. desire?
-Yes . That is what I also figured out. And agree. No solo visits, and apart from work- no drinking together.
-I skipped drinking Cal. Many weeks ago.
-I know, but I didnt  ;l
-Sure. Would you really exchange on Saturday?
-Yes, but only for 3 hours, ok? I have an important meeting then. So  I' ll come about 11 and please be back no further than 2 pm, ok?
-Yeah, thanks a lot.
He went to trace to prepare himself.
Delko came soon after.
-so, the end ?
-Yes, finally. And for all.
-Sure, how many times Ive heard that?
-Not this time. I need to handle my own life without additional cases like love or having sex. I need to go formal thru this. Finish my therapy.
Ava deserves a normal parent and Calleigh...
-...deserves peace of mind?
-Yeah. So that the final loop. Im sure of. No meetings after work, no drinking, no sexual relationship, no living together.
-You seem ... calm.
-I am calm. Static. I go to therapy, I work , I take medicines,I read ... Try to occupy myself. I sometimes miss the two of us going out.
-then why dont we? We sometimes have free shifts.
-And what about Ava then ?
-oh come on. There's Maria. People have kids and still hang out with their friends. They go to parties, to the gym...my sister has three. She has time for herself.
-she has a husband.
-So? Hes never-present husband
-you have family...
-Oh stop. You're finding excuses.
-You're right..I am. I will work on it.
-ok.... I thought youll be mad.
Its good to have this kind of Speed around :)
-Yeah, maybe... the shift started an they both got to work.

-Hi Maria, Im sorry Im late.
-Don't  bother, Tim. I know life.
-Thanks I can count on you. Always.
-No trouble. She's so adorable. And I also know wht you will know sooner that youre expecting- soon she will be a big girl, wont need your attention so much.
-I wait for it ;)
-Im sure...But Tim,,, you should take her out sometimes, to the playground or other kids. She is a loner, like you. You cannot keep her at home.
-I tried to put her to the nursery. But no vacancy yet. I want to go for the meeting with other kids on Saturday.
-that means you wont need me anymore?
-I'll start to work shifts again if possible, so I will  need you even more if it won't be a burden.
-Not at all. I can take her to my house or stqy here if you prefer...
-thsnk you Maria. I dont know what I would do without you. Is there anything I can do to thank?
-Yes...find the peace of mind Tim. And start to go out sometimes, You're a single father, not a deadman.
He goodbyed her.
Then ate the soup, gave Ava her things and decided to  her out later.
What was actually funny he realized that he has no stroller,usual stroller, at all. He decided to pop into a shop and buy her one.
In the shop there were lots of people, mostly couples, rather while pregnancy. He thought that they also did some shopping but not like that. Maybe they were too sceptical, or too busy...the pram they had he bought on the Internet, the same with crib as Ava"s coming was so unexpected. He didnt even remember choosing it,maybe Alexx did that?the thing that he surely bought himself was the car seat - he chose it very carefully and didnt doubt it was worth all the money. Now, walking thru the aisles he got to the prams and strollers section and begin to look.
-can I help you somehow? He heard the voice. The young girl with the shop ID smiled
-ehm.. yes, I want to buy a stroller.
-Ok. Anything on your mind?
-Not really.
-How old is the baby?
-15 months.
Yyy...she seemed  amazed....what stroller have you got now?
-..erm..none yet.
-But the baby is walkin right?
-Yes of course.
-Oook. Do you want sth particular?
-I dont know. Maybe you could advise me.
-Will it be used in Miami?
-Yes.
- travel a lot by plane?
-No
-have a flat on high floor?
-Second
-Lots of things like toys, food,bag?
-Probably yes, Why are you asking me all these qestions?
-I'll quickly explain- she smiled
If Miami- lots of sun -so bigger sunshade. Heat- so sunproof but with light texture. If plane- compact. If high floor- lightweight. If with toys etc - a tray or basket for it, also cup or bottle holder....
-oh. That.
-Yes. Believe me, there are so many models we can use that its better to focus on aims :)
-I understand. I just didnt know which one would be ok l... there are so many of them.
-This one or maybe this  would be ok, if the price suits you.
He took a closer look.- yes the price is fine. He moved along the stroller and it seemed ok.
-this one also has a suitable feature- you can lenghten or shorten the handle  for taller or shorter person, if theres a height difference.
-I....I wont need that. This one is ok.
-Boy or girl?
-what?
Is it for boy or girl?
A girl.
So - yellow, red, green, brown,lemon, pink, orange white...
-Black.
-Black?
-Yeah.
-You want a black stroller?
-Yea?
-In Miami?
-whats the diff....oh yes, the heat...
-Right. So maybe blue, grey or navy?
-navy will be fine.
-Ok. So here you are- she was trying to take it off the shelf.
-let me help you. And thanks for advice. She smiled and went to a couple who were choosing a pram.
He paid for the stroller and left

He was deadly tired.