Life's a rollercoster

15.

Dr Alvarez? She knocked on the door.
- Mr Anders? What do you need?
- did you visit room 4 patient?
- yes. I prescribed medicines for depression once a day.  Why?
- I guess you should consider bigger dose. He was taking Adderall before, so may need bigger amount. Plus I must say he looks quite severe.
- what do you suggest?
- some diazepines? Until i get to him. Its not possible somewhere soon but he seems pretty suicidal at the moment. He doesnt sleep.
-ok thanks you. I will consider this

The next day Eva entered just to find Tim drowsy and subconscious.
-hi Tim. Ready to talk?

- yeah.
His speech was slowed down a bit and. He mumbled. Oh yes. He got the meds.
-I read your card. She showed him.
-ok.
- have anything to say about that?
What if you did ?
- Andy my friend wouldnt get killed because the accident wouldnt have happened. i wouldnt crash some people's lives and my own. Court would be probably married  with a usual guy, not so fucked up like me.
And all my friends wouldnt have to grief about my death, thinking I was killed and burried.
And if not then then later.
-Did you ever harm yourself?
-Yes. Mostly in Anger. When I felt Anger.

-what would the world lose if you succeeded then?
- probably a great CSI, but I'm not sure as I got suspended.

-well Tim. The problem is you hate yourself. What I can tell you now that we need to work on your self confidence or that is only a matter of time you will hurt yourself.
Or somebody.
- somebody?
- your wife, your daughter....
- what?? What a bullshit. I couldnt....
- yes you could.
- I love them..
- yes. But you already feel angry your wife isnt visiting you. You're mad she blames you. Youre mad she doesnt care if youre ok. And that she wants your daughter for herself.
- youre insane, Eva.
- no. I think you shouldnt get any visitations. You could hurt your baby and then your wife - they're yours - or
You or Nobody. Then you would probably commit suicide as you couldnt live with that.
- why are you saying this? What is IT?
He got anxious. Started moving around in his bed- why do you do that??!! What have I done to you?!?
He started taking off his IV.
- NURSE! NOW.
Out of nowhere there came two women - one of them made a fast injection and all Tim could remember was that the room was getting smaller. ..

Opening his eyes he saw the room was slightly different. He felt heavy. His head was big as a watermelon.
His all body hurt.
The surrounding was changed too. There were bars in the windows.

And he was tied up to the bed.

-Why cant I see him? -Andre got nervous as noone wanted to tell her anything. Ava in her arms was anxious .
- i'm sorry lady, he's been moved to another ward.
- where?
- are you a family member?
-Im his wife's sister in law.
- oh come on...his wife- yes, siblings , parents...anyone?
- his wife just left hospital .Parents are dead. Please....
-Wait.
The nurse left and came a bit later with a woman.
- hi, Im dr Anders.
- im Andre, Tim's sister in law. I take care of his daughter. Why cant I visit him?
- hes  been moved to psychiatric wing.
After consulting the psychiatrist.
-what???! Why!
- sorry lady but his psychic state doesnt allow to see you or the baby. She looked at the girl,- real cutie she is.
- youre insane. Tim wouldnt hurt anybody.
- youre wrong. He will stay there until he gets better. Until then there's no possibility to visit.
The doctor left and Andre stood speechless.