Life's a rollercoster

13.

-Hey Mr. Speedle,
-Hey.
-What's up? Why so sad today?
Nurse was getting ready for all the morning routine.  Injection, pills, blood test,blood pressure, exchange of plasters.
-Not sleep well.
-Again?Why dont you take a sleeping pill huh? Stubborn hm?
-Maybe... Can I Ask you a favour?
-Yeah. Sure. What's wrong?
-I need to talk to someone, otherwise ill go crazy.
-You need a therapist?
-I need a person WHO will just listen to me. Not judging me.
-I can ask- there's a therapist on the ward, ill check if she''s free ok.?
-Yeah. Thanks.
2 hrs later there came a woman around 40.
-You're Tim Speedle?
-Yes. And you?
-Im Eva. The therapist. Nurse told me you wanted to talk to someone
-Yeah. Have some time?
-That's my job- she smiled. She wasnt beautiful in a common sense, but when she smiled Speed felt secure for a while.-Tell me what's on.
-I had an accident. My wife and daughter got hurt in it. I didnt cause IT but the fact is I was also taking Adderal at that moment. My wife hasn't seen me sińce then, she doesn't call or write me. I saw my daughter bcs our relative brought her to hospital. Yeah. I feel guilty I could kill them both. She blames me I guess. I cannot forgive myself I was still on Adderal.
-How bad do you feel 1-10?
-11. I hate myself. I dont sleep. Still think od them. I almost lost my wife while birth, she was in a coma. Our relationship was complicated from the very beginning, the baby wasnt planned...But we were happy.Then.
-How come you took Adderall?
-I had problems with pain after being shot at the scene. And I stopped taking them soon after. Then life became unbearable so IT was easier to function.
-You know Adderall is actually..
-....meth? Yeah. I'm a biologist.
-So why?
-I dont know. For life to hurt less?
-What medicines you take now?
-I dont know but as I feel like piece od shit i guess none.
-If Im to help you-,you want me to help you, I need to take a look into your medical files. Is that ok with you?
-Yeah. Dont be scared though.
-I wont . Sign here and see you later in the evening. Meanwhile I guess you need a doctor's advice.
In an hour there came a Man, a psychiatrist. Looked into a  file and prescribed sth called Effexor. That's IT.
Speed took one as was ordered and got to sleep later