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A/N- the way this story is almost at 10k i might cry

DEVI BHATT

My toes rest on the edge of the bathtub as I perform my breathing exercises. I have a marigold flower weaved into my hair near my ear. The tranquil sound of running water calms my nerves and I begin to close my eyes and lean my head against the wall.

Last week's adrenaline still hasn't worn off. I popped a couple Xanax earlier to help me relax. Make me a little drowsy.

Inhale. One two three four.

Hold. One two three four five-

Dammit.

My eyes shoot open at the sound of my ringtone. When I see the name on my phone I roll my eyes before answering. He's been pestering me about this job so much.

"You may speak," I drawl, bringing my hair to one side.

"How gracious of you Madame Devi, I'm forever indebted to you," he responds, making me laugh.

"Okay but on a serious note, good afternoon Thomas," I say with a posh accent.

"I don't know about you but it's morning here. Nine in the morning," he declares.

I frown and look at the clock through the open door leading to my bedroom, "Oh, why are you ringing me so early? Go to bed you monkey," I say, teasingly.

"You know I'm an early riser," I can practically see him rolling his eyes. "Besides, I just wanted to phone to see if you're okay."

That's sweet. It really is, but I can't help but cringe. I hate it when he does this- randomly checking up on me when I've made a mistake, waiting for me to tell him that he was right. It's either that or he really just wants to be in my life and care for me.

"Everything is great."

"Anything else? Are you okay from yesterday?" concern coats his voice like thick tar.

"Yes," I tilt my head in confusion. So many secrets flow through my mind from yesterday. I'm being filled with unspeakables from both sides.

Sometimes thinking about Thomas in his teens makes me laugh. Who would have thought Thomas, who is from an upper class, socialite family, would have joined a backstreet gang. It's like he wanted to stand out on his personal statement.

"You never told me how on earth you knew this person, Grisha? I only realised because of his last name. Petrov."

"It's a secret," I quip. I seem to have a lot of them as of recently.

"Well even if you know him it's still a bad idea Devi," he hesitates. "You know you're playing a risky game."

I wish he could see my glare, or my attempt to. Thomas lectured me so much about this, it got annoying. "I like being on my toes. It keeps me alert."

"You like the thrill, Devi." he corrects me like he knows me better than me. "I don't know why you love putting your life in danger so much, really."

"Maybe..." I trial off, yawning. "I know him because..." my head hits the wall harshly, where the bruise is making me bite back a scream. That hurt, alot.

"Devi, you sound zonked out, go take a nap."

"I'm fine, I'm fine, dad." I rub my eyes but there's bubbles on my fingers which make it sting.

He stays silent for a second. He doesn't want to be called dad, I think he'd definitely prefer daddy. "I'm not your dad," he groans. "And get out of the shower and sleep in your bed. Knowing you, you might just slip under the water and drown."

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