This is War (War Series #3)

Chapter 18

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Chapter 18

Lines

What does it feel like to commit the biggest mistake of your life?

Sa punto ba na gagawin mo na ang pagkakamali mo, mararamdaman mo bang nagkakamali ka? Is there a sudden click or even a gut feeling? Are there warning signs and red lights?

Habang ginagawa mo ba ang isang pagkakamali, mararamdaman mo bang pagsisisihan mo 'yon pagkatapos? Sa iba, oo. Pero sa lahat ba ng pagkakamali, mararamdaman mo na nagkakamali ka?

Kung meron mang mga paalala na magkakamali ka, makikita mo ba agad ang lahat ng 'yon? Kung oo, bakit marami pa rin ang nagkakamali? Pinipili ba ng isang tao na magkamali kahit na alam niya namang may ibang daang mas tama?

What do I call a person who chooses to do wrong even though he knows that it's wrong? Is he stupid for not choosing the right path even though he knows what it is?

Pero bakit ba pinipili pa rin natin ang isang bagay kahit na alam natin na mali? What are the reasons why we choose the wrong path instead of the right one?

Ever since I was young, I believe that we can always try to not do a mistake. Iniisip ko noon, sa mga nakikita ko sa ibang mga taong nagkakamali na pwede namang hindi sila magkamali kung nakita nila na hindi na tama ang mga nangyayari.

Akala ko, oo, nagkakamali tayong lahat pero kaya naman nating iwasang magkamali. Because we're not blind. There are red lights. There are warning signs. Why continue on a path that is clearly wrong? Why are we so stubborn?

'Yong mga taong nasasaktan, nasaktan sila dahil hindi nila nakitang may mali na pala sa nilalakaran nila. Kaya kung nakita na nating may mali sa nilalakaran natin, bakit pa tayo magpapatuloy?

I thought that life is simple. Akala ko, madali kong makikita ang mga senyales na mali na ako ng nilalakaran. Nakita ko nang magkamali ang ibang tao kaya bakit ko sila tutularan?

I lay my plans before me. I have big dreams for my future. I even tell my friends to always plan ahead of time, to dream high and big, and to always choose the better path.

Because I trust myself so much, I become careless. Akala ko kasi, may malinaw akong pananaw sa mga bagay na nasa paligid ko. Naging kampante ako na sa bawat hakbang ko, hinding-hindi na ako magkakamali.

But emotions cloud a clear mind. Feelings fog a crystalline vision.

"I promise," Ise whispers as he kisses my ear.

Promises are always wonderful to hear. They make you look forward to the future and hope that tomorrow will be good. Promises make you believe in happily-ever-after, rainbows, and sunshines. You trust and you give your faith.

"You won't leave me?" I ask him, hope lacing my voice.

Hope that it's true. Hope that he won't break it. Hope that he'd stay with me forever.

"I won't," he answers with a promise. "I love you, Hanani. Ever since I first met you, I know that I'd spend this lifetime with you."

Namuo ang luha sa mga mata ko. I gasp as Ise brings his face in front of mine and I am reminded of the promises I gave myself when I was younger.

To keep myself as a gift to whomever I am to marry in the future. To wait until it is the perfect time. To always be sure of the man I will be giving myself to. As I stare at Ise's eyes, I start to question everything I promised myself.

I ask myself, is it worth it? Will the waiting be worth it?

I like the smell of his minty breath and his eyes that glimmer with sincerity and love. The way he looks at me reminds me of the first time I lay my eyes on him. In that cafe, he, with his friends and me, with mine. How his Asian eyes glimmer when they land on me and how the butterflies in my stomach stir. How we try to work on our relationship for the past months.