When Our Paths crossed..

Epilogue-1 : The Letter

Shivani,

Don't read this letter with your husband. This is a secret that every mother tells her married daughter! This is our secret.

I have no words to express my happiness. I know you would have been wise to choose the right partner unlike me. Shivani. I am sorry. Whatever I went through in my life , whatever you had to go through in your life, was because of my incapability to stand on my own toes.

While your mama, periyamma were focused on their studies, I was infatuated towards your father. At that time, he was my world. I was so much lost in the fantasy world that I forgot to notice the actual cruel world around me.

And un knowingly , I was about to do the same to you. I asked you to wrap up your studies and get ready to marry Ashwin and you listened. I was focused only on my responsibility getting over. I forgot to think about your future. I forgot to ask you if you wanted to marry him. I forgot to ask you about your dreams.

Do you remember the time, Deepa wanted you to get married to her son. Even your Mama wanted to get you married to a nice man soon. But I stopped all of them. You have asked me so many times on why I did that suddenly. I just didn't want you to lose your focus on studies. Let me answer now.

After your engagement was called off, I thought your life was gone. I was ready to marry you off to any guy that my brother decides. But one day I met Ashwin on the road. He apologised and cried. I was angry. I just shouted at him. I even challenged him to get you married off soon. But he shouted at me for being crazy...He said I was being selfish. He said I would be the major reason for your life going to hell. I was shocked.

"Ava Chinna ponnu. Avala thalli vitta podhum nu kalyanam panreengale. Ungalukku Arivu irukka ??" he asked. He shouted these exact words in the market in front of so many people. I felt ashamed. "Ava nalla padippa. Avala padikka veikama, ava dreams pathi kavala padama, unga ego kaga kalyanam pannadheenga. Appuram ava romba kasta paduva athai..Ungala mathiri" these were his words.

Later he said 100 sorry's for shouting at me and came running behind me. But I was not able to process anything. That day I came home like a dead corpse. I had no life in me. And when I reached home, I saw you in that pathetic state. How did you think of leaving your mother alone. You decided to end your life because you thought I won't listen to you and get you married to Deepa's son. Isn't it?

Ashwin's words kept ringing in my mind "Ava Kasta paduva..ungala mathiri"

I cannot let that happen. I cannot let others decide for you. "Nee Kasta pada koodadhu". Rest you know. I stopped taking marriage proposals. SAM and Nisha got married. You resumed your studies. For the first time I started noticing that you were actually happy while studying.

One day when you told me, you wanted to give free education to young girls, I was awestruck. My girl had such big dreams. My determination to make you independent became strong that day. I gave blind eyes to all the awesome alliances that you were getting for marriage.

But sorry dear. I don't think I am lucky enough to see you reach the stars. My days are numbered and I can feel that. I have already taken a promise from my brother that you will continue to study, stand on your own legs, and get married to the man of your choice. Periyamma promised me to take God care of you. She said, she will let you marry only to the person whom she feels will take good care of you.

Shivani I have never talked back to your father. I blindly believed him. And that man just looted everything. All this happened right in front of my eyes. I didn't have the guts to question him. Don't be like that. If you think something isn't right, get it clarified. There is no harm in that.

Respect your husband's dream. Trust him. At the same time, don't expect him to satisfy all your needs. Support him shoulder to shoulder. Build castles together. Respect him and make sure he never disrespects you. In this beautiful journey, Don't leave your job. Don't leave your dreams. Teach the same to your kids.

I have a wish. I know you are married now to a man of your choice. My son in law must be an awesome man for sure. But One day you might have to encounter ASHWIN. At that time, don't have any vengeance against him. Just smile at him and if possible be his well-wisher. Introduce him to your husband. The Ashwin I know will feel guilty to face you. Make sure, he is not guilty about that day. Tell him his Devi athai has no regrets. He was and will be my favourite...

Yen Chellame, you are the best thing that happened to me. Un koodave irukanum nu romba aasaiya irukku. If only that is possible...

Love

Amma...

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Disclaimer:

Obviously, Devi ma wrote the letter in her regional language. For the convinience of author and readers, i have written in English and Tamil mixed. Hope you like it! Catch you soon with the next epilogue.  Do follow me in wattpad to get further updates. You can also connect with me in Instagram via nithi_newlife

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