Missing [ST]

Thirty One

"Hi."

Leah looked over her shoulder.

She hadn't moved since Tom left because she had fallen into a world of her own where every new piece of ground gave her something else to consider. If it hadn't been for the rasp in Steven's voice, she would never have noticed she had company.

"Hi," Leah returned.

The tighter fit made him look slimmer than he naturally was, but because he had his left hand pressed to his chest, there was a subtle hint of toning in his arm, and it revealed the flames of his tattoo.

Steven cleared his throat, probably to soothe the scratch, and ran that same palm over his collarbone.

"Do you want me to sit down or...?"

"Yes sit, please," Leah responded quickly, ironically doing the opposite and standing up.

It was for a reason, but when Steven was making his way over, pesky nerves appeared. She didn't know why she felt the pressure when she knew he would listen, but until she actually started the talking part, the anticipation was a beast to handle.

She got a hold of herself though, disposing of her empty mug that had been her plan before Steven sat down, and then disappeared into one of the deep cupboards to rustle around for a red packet in a multi bag. She found one, and threw it onto the kitchen island with a satisfying slap.

"Chips?"

"Crisps," she corrected, reclaiming her seat. It was only then that she realised they were in exactly the same arrangement as last time, and it did nothing to promote her confidence.

"I've been-"

"I don't-"

Neither did the stop-start of her speech.

Steven looked up at the same time, picking the packet with his fingertips.

"Can I go first?"

"Sure," Leah said, pulling at her sleeves in her lap.

"I uh, don't want to have to say this, because I don't think I deserved what you did for me...but thank you, for earlier. I've never um, never had that happen before."

Remembering the tremble of his hands, the strain of each breath that pooled from his rapidly rising chest, Leah had never seen a man so scared, and so lost in a cycle of panic.

She didn't want to let him go, not when Steven was begging her not to leave with a lost longing in his eyes. Because she saw this young man who was desperately in need of help, but was too frightened of hurting someone to let anyone near him.

"You don't need to thank me," Leah said, resisting the urge to touch his hand.

"But I couldn't have done it without you." Steven's adamance fled the moment he met her eyes. "That's what I'm saying- trying to say, so...thank you."

It was a strength Steven probably didn't even know he had, but it was so obvious when he spoke from his heart. He was very good at finding ways to avoid it, but nothing had reached the four chambers of his good will.

"I'm not angry with you." Leah wrung out her fingers that were engulfed by the sleeves of her jumper. "I don't think I can be, which is crazy, because I feel like I should. The more I think about things, the more I realise that if I didn't know what was going on, how on earth were you supposed to know? You walked into the unknown and it just so happened I was there and got caught up in it too. So, I can't believe I'm going to say this...but you might have saved me."

If it wasn't for the vicious rain storm that now pounded against the panes of the windows, Leah would have been waiting in a searing silence, because Steven wasn't close to saying anything.